Insomniac

I feel like every post should be named "random thoughts." But that would probably get boring. Maybe I feel that way because my thoughts really are random. And because I'm not so good at labels.

Today, however, I have named this post Insomniac for a few reasons:

1. I feel like an insomniac.

2. I was composing this post in my head numerous times during the night when I should've been sleeping.

3. Because insomniac sounds dramatic. And sometimes my blog posts are more dramatic than real life.

I feel like an insomniac because every night when I lay in my bed exhausted and excited to sleep, guess what happens? My brain decides it's suddenly time to go wild and crazy and think of every possible thing I couldn't have possibly thought about during the day.

And I get itchy. Don't know why. I just do. When I'm tired.

Back to my brain. I try to makes lists of things I'm thinking about before I fall asleep, but that doesn't help too much. A little, but not enough. This morning Hubby asked for an example of what my brain is busy thinking about.

"well, right now I'm thinking about my American Heritage lab when I was in college"

"What the heck!? Why the heck are you thinking about that?"

"Well, I thought about that you said you studied all day yesterday. And I wondered if you went to your cadaver lab. Then I thought about different "labs" in college. How there might be a dry lab and a wet lab. A cadaver lab would be a wet lab because you're actually doing something. My American Heritage lab was a dry lab because I just sat there and it was like another class. But I didn't know that before. I thought I would actually do something in it. But I didn't. And I'm amazed I passed that class because I always fell asleep in lecture and didn't do any homework or studying, and then I had no idea what was going on in the lab. But I still managed to get a C- and pass the class and not have to take it again. And that was my thought process 2 minutes ago."

"Wow."

I think I might need a new brain.

One that likes to sleep more than think.

Also Mr. Man broke out of the double swaddle last night.

What the?? Really?

He has some serious skills.

(maybe I didn't make it tight enough...)

And I also decided last night that when I write, I say things how they are. I don't sugarcoat. Upon occasion I may make things sound worse or better than they are. But I try to be honest and real. My life is not perfect. It's not roses and butterflies. I am not perfect. Sometimes I have really hard days. Like when I get 5 hours of sleep between 10 pm and 5 am. Or like when I feel lonely because it's cloudy outside and I have nothing planned for the day. Or like when I miss my husband because I have seen him for all of 60 minutes in a 24 hour time period.

And I blog about those hard days.

But there are days that make up for those days. Like when my baby wakes up smiling, cooing and kicking all over. Or like when he plays with me for an hour. Or like when he spits up all over my newly washed jeans and then smiles and kicks so much he makes the ottoman he is sitting on rock. Or like when my hubby comes home earlier than expected and we get to cuddle and talk. Or like when I get to see friends and show off my baby. Or like when my baby sleeps a ton so I get lots done. Or like when my baby is asleep in my arms and he smiles. Or like when I send lots of picture texts to hubby and my mom and they think he's adorable. Or like when it rains and sounds glorious. Or like when I cook something really fantastic. Or like when I get an email from an old friend and I get to reminisce about good times.

And I blog about those good days.

I can't appreciate the good without experiencing the hard.

Really, my life is great. I love being a mom!

But it's not always easy.

And sometimes it's not quite fun.

It can actually be pretty tough.

But I love it. And it's worth it. I wouldn't trade being a stay at home mom for anything. I blog to share the good, the bad, and the ugly.

And, of course, the ridiculously cute!!!!