Faith vs. Fear

You know when you as a blogger writes posts that are more for yourself than for your readers? This is one of those posts.

I've been having some trials in my life lately. Some people know, most don't. But yesterday I received a very tender mercy and amazing testimony building experience from Heavenly Father.

Saturday night Mister Man and I had a long conversation about some things I've been feeling. I've been getting very anxious about things I cannot control lately. I've been really worried, anxious and stressed. It's been severely affecting my sleep. Which is causing me to be more anxious about my sleep, which is causing me to not sleep, which is causing me to have difficult days.

I guess the conversation actually started Friday night. I brought up some things I was thinking about concerning mind-body control. I mentioned that I was lacking in this area. It was affecting my diet, my exercise and my anxiety problems. So after some discussion we decided to do a 24 hour fast, for my issues and for someone close to us. I felt this to be impossible while breastfeeding. Turns out, it wasn't. It was actually the best thing I could've possibly done.

We started the fast on Saturday afternoon. I was worried. But we prayed sincerely for help and strength. And boy, I have never felt so strong fasting before! We had another conversation on Saturday night and Mister Man brought up some really good points. Things like: leave the worries of tomorrow for tomorrow, the worries of yesterday for yesterday, and focus on the present. Don't worry about things you can't control. Replace your fears with faith in the Lord. And some other things.

Well, Sunday morning we went to church. The last speaker in Sacrament Meeting was our bishop. He got up and said "today I'm going to be talking about replacing your fears with faith." Boom. He proceeded to give the most amazing talk that I felt was directed right at me. Some of the things he talked about included:

-a story about a man fixing a tape measure. He couldn't fix it, and almost gave up until he realized that someone had designed and made it and he just had to figure out how they designed it for it to work. Relate that to how Heavenly Father has designed our lives. If we seek to know His will and His design for us, we can make it work.
-Replace your fears with faith. Don't be concerned with things you can't control. Let the Lord be in control. Leave the things of tomorrow for tomorrow (same thing as hubby said!)
-Ether 12:27,  "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." Come unto the Lord in humility and let Him make your weaknesses become strengths. This one really hit home to me. I realized if I come to Heavenly Father and seek to make this weakness a strength, I am capable of incredible faith! Faith that allows me to know without a doubt in my mind that God lives. Faith that allows me to always know the Lord is in control and things that happen are His will. Faith that I can get through trials. But I have to work and seek the Lord's help in order to get that kind of faith.

As I studied this verse more in my scriptures last night, I changed "grace"  to "divine help and strength." When I read it that way, it struck me that God's grace, or divine help and strength, is sufficient (adequate, enough) for all men who humble themselves before God and have faith in Him. So, basically if I humble myself and come to God in faith, I qualify myself for incredible divine help and strength that will allow my weakness to become a great strength. In addition, I believe that I need to be humble enough to align my will with His, and seek to know His plan for me.

Bishop talked about some other things as well, but those were the things that really stood out to me. Also that Heavenly Father does not create fear. Fear comes from Satan. If we put our trust in God, we have no need to fear anything.

I feel very blessed to have such an inspired man as our bishop! I also feel even more blessed to have an inspired man as my husband. As we were talking later about the bishop's talk and everything else, he told me of a really great sports analogy:

When you're playing sports and you have a weakness in some area, like not being able to hit the ball from a certain serve in ping pong, and the other team figures out that weakness, what are they going to do? Try and serve that certain way so that you miss the ball every time. But if you suddenly decide to make that weakness your strength, and you work on it until you can hit that ball every time it's served that way, what happens to the other team? They can't score because you keep hitting the ball where they thought you couldn't hit it. Same applies in our lives. Satan isn't going to attack one of your strengths. He's going to attack your weaknesses. So if you make that weakness a strength, he can't get in and can't have power over you.

That really hit home for me as well. It was such an inspiring day and I feel grateful that I was able to listen and acknowledge the things Heavenly Father was trying to share with me. I feel like I have the power and strength to move forward and attack this trial of mine. I know that if I seek to make my weakness in faith become a great strength to me, I will overcome my fears and anxiety. I will also be able to look back on this experience and teach my kids about faith.

So all in all, yesterday was a really great day for me. It was the kind of day that I've been needing for awhile. And guess what? It worked. After I studied my scriptures and prayed last night, I laid in bed thinking about faith, Christ, and Heavenly Father, and I felt a great sense of peace and calmness. I was able to fall asleep quickly without the sleep anxiety I've felt before. It was so wonderful! I really do know that Heavenly Father hears our prayers and when we come to him in humility, seeking help, with faith, He will bless our lives. I've seen it many times before and I will see it again I know!