Sometimes you just have to dance

If you're a dancer, you know what I'm talking about.
If you've ever been a dancer, you know what I'm talking about.
If you have a great respect for dancers, you know what I'm talking about.
If you know anything about dance and have an appreciation for it, you know what I'm talking about.
If you don't, maybe you'll get a glimmer of understanding in the next five minutes.

Sometimes, you just have to dance.

There's no other way or means of communication or expression that can articulate how you feel inside except by dancing.

Today that hit me.
About five minutes ago actually.
I was thinking about my day, my week, this past month, and everything that has happened.
In case you don't know me that well, it's been alot.
In case you do know me really well, it's been more than you could ever imagine.

And today while I laid in bed unable to take a nap, I realized it.

Sometimes I just have to dance.

There's no other way to express every feeling of joy, sorrow, hope, pain, disappointment, frustration, excitement, and love, at the same time, except to dance.

And then I realized it's been years since I actually danced. Really danced with my heart and soul. Danced what I felt, how I felt. Danced with my body in control instead of my mind. And I became afraid. Afraid that I had forgotten how. Afraid that I might look dumb. Afraid that my body wouldn't work. Afraid that my apartment was too small.

But sometimes, you just have to dance.
And it takes control of every other emotion or feeling.
And you wish you had access to an empty studio full of mirrors, dim light, and loud speakers.

But even if you don't, you still dance.
And you feel better.
And crave more.

Thank you, Missy Higgins, for letting me dance.

No matter what happens in my life, I will always have the heart of a dancer. And I can only hope that I will always continue to dance.