Disclaimer: Do not continue reading if you are going to read and think I'm a horribly depressed person who does not enjoy being a mom and staying at home. Of if you'll think I'm really selfish. Or think I'm whining and complaining about nothing. I just need a moment.
(and I'm running on 5 hours of sleep and tears falling out my eyes)
When is it going to get better? I know so many more people who are more justified to complain about things that are way worse than me. But I need a moment.
I'm just so frustrated. I feel like our baby has been teething forever. Especially the past week. Especially the past 3 days. And not only have we felt like he's teething, he's suddenly decided he hates sleeping. What the crap??! When he was only a few weeks old he was sleeping 8-10 hours!!! What happened? Friday night we had to let him cry for 45 minutes before he finally fell asleep. He only slept about 6 hours. Saturday we bought teething gel in hopes that it would help. He was still fussing and crying and didn't go to bed easily. Sunday he was awake from 7-10:30am. Then slept 45 minutes. Then didn't sleep again until about 2:30 pm. Of course we once again had a battle getting him to sleep that night. Monday he woke up around 9 am, I fed him and we went to the gym. He was exhausted. By the time I could finally give him a nap he was over tired. So he screamed in his crib for 30-40 minutes. He had a hard time calming down in my arms. Then he slept for 45 minutes. After being awake for almost 4 hours. Then he didn't want to eat and he wouldn't go back to sleep, but he wasn't really happy. Finally Scott came home and rescued me. He swaddled him and put him in the swing where he slept another hour and a half. I put him down for bed at 6:30. He woke up at 7:45pm to eat then fell back asleep. And guess what? He only slept til 1:40 am. I binked him and he slept 45 minutes. Then he continued to fuss and cry from about 2:15 til 3:30 am. Mind you I could not sleep this entire time. I tried the binky a few times, then gave up. Scott went in and held the binky in and tried to get him to sleep. Didn't last longer than 10 minutes. Finally at 3:30 am I went in to feed him. He ate and then finally slept. Until 4:45 am. Binky. Slept until 5:45 am. Binky. Finally he stayed asleep until 9 am. I fed him and he's been awake since. It's now 11:00 am.
If you were able to follow all of that, basically what I'm saying is:
-he suddenly fights to sleep at night
-he won't take a morning nap
-he won't sleep longer than 6 hours consistently
-he's cranky. alot.
-I only got 5-6 hours of sleep last night.
And I'm so frustrated because he's such a happy baby!!! When I'm not trying to put him down for a nap. Ugh. I felt like such a crappy mom yesterday because I was thinking I had done a bad thing by starting to go exercise or do things in the morning, preventing him from napping right after his 9 am eating. I know it's an important nap, but I also need to do things for me. I can't stay at home all day every day. It doesn't work for me. And I need to exercise. I need it. And the child care is only open til 12. Then again at 3. Unfortunately the perfect time for us to go would be noon. Except now everything is messed up.
I feel like it's all my fault. That I got selfish and messed everything up for him. I don't know how to get it back. I know what the perfect schedule would be in my mind, but I don't know how to make it work. And I can't really make it work because everything revolves around him. I just wish he would figure out how to go to sleep! I know he's capable of it. But like I said, I messed it up because I wanted to do something for me. I don't want every day to be a battle. This morning I decided to stay home and try to bring back the nap at 9:30 ish. Not working.
I can't tell if he's crying lately because his mouth hurts or if there's another reason. He just cries so much more than he used to! (good thing he wasn't colicky early on, I might've died) And it seems like there's no reason. I can't tell if he's over tired all the time and can't sleep. If he's not as tired as I think he is. If he's mad that I leave the room. If he's not getting enough food (which doesn't make sense because I feed him and he's the one that refuses). Of if it's just his teeth. I don't know. But I do know I don't want him to have to always be swaddled and in the swing to sleep.
I'm just tired of the battle. I want some predictability back. I'm trying. I'm trying hard. And it's not working. And that frustrates me.
Thankfully I have the most amazing husband who is a great problem solver and always makes me feel better. He always knows what to say in situations like this to make me feel like I am a great mom and like I am not selfish and that I do need to do things for me. And that one of those things for me is exercising. You might think it's lame, but it's really really important to me. And not just to look good. It's to feel good too.
And now he finally fell asleep in the swing (ugh. oh well.) so I'm gonna take a shower and try to make this day better somehow.
Maybe he has an ear infection or is coming down with a cold? That always throws my kids off. Have you thought of getting him checked by a Doc?
ReplyDeleteOh yeah- I just thought of this, too. Maybe he is having a reaction to baby food? I dunno. My Doc always suggested waiting until 6 months to start solids, because he said that usually a baby's stomach can't handle solids until then and it could cause allergies or even tummy bloating, which will really make a baby fussy. Just a thought.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry it's so frustrating for you! Don't feel bad or selfish about trying to do something for yourself for an hour or two. That's what will help you stay sane. When that first baby comes along, it completely changes everything for you, and if you are like me, you need to keep something in your life that made you who you were before the baby came along (like exercise!). Suddenly you feel like you have no life outside of his, right? Which is both wonderful and really hard sometimes. Especially if you are like me and need a good 7-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep at night to function well the next day. But hang in there- it DOES get better! I'm so glad Scott is such a great husband and can help you out, too.
Don't feel bad for doing something for yourself. It's so important that you feel good about yourself; it helps you be a better, happier mommy. I'm glad you have a wonderful husband who helps so much and is a patient daddy!
ReplyDeleteHave you tried gripe water? It's all natural baby drops. It seems to work wonders for my baby. If it did nothing else, it helps calm Scotty when he's got an upset stomach, gas, or fussing because of teething.
Good luck Karissa! I'm sure it will get better.
We are going through the same thing. Landon just cried in his crib for an hour before falling asleep. That's all I could do because he was just exhausted and nothing else was consoling him, including me trying to nurse him or just holding him. I really do think it is the teeth, at a least for us. He just had his 6 month check up and was super healthy, so I've been reading up on how to help his gums feel better. Hang in there. The sleep deprivation stinks. Do you have someone that can come hang out at your house during his morning nap so you an exercise? I know when I'm in need of a little break I end up exchanging a little babysitting with other ladies in my ward. Don't ever feel bad about doing something for yourself, you need it to keep sane. Good luck, you are doing awesome.
ReplyDeletei think every mom knows how you feel! and you are totally allowed to have your moment :) has he ever had problems with colic? has he just started being this fussy since you started working out? are you still nursing? it's possible there is something being released in your milk while your body is exercising that could be upsetting his stomach. my husband explained the whole process to me back after i had baby #2... but it's been a while so i don't remember the specifics, sorry. anyway - it could be related to teething, it could be something entirely different like a tummy ache or ear ache or who knows :) unfortunately we have to guess a lot of the time. a suggestion - i have friends who have said this book has saved their lives: "healthy sleep habits, happy child." i think right now what you need to do is focus on getting him back on a sleep schedule, and i KNOW this book has helped a ton of people with that. babies do best when they are on a consistent routine and are getting enough sleep (which i know you know). that means you might have to give up going to the gym for a few days while you get things figured out. hopefully it'll pass and you'll have your happy baby back, as well as your happy, well-rested self! hang in there!!!!!
ReplyDeleteUgh!! Anyone have an answer!? Dear, this is my life too! I need help!! I feel like i'm going to rip my hair out...i'm surprised I don't do it by now! I go into the doctor all the time. They think i'm crazy high-maintenance and judge me every time I walk in there (it's not just me that feels this way, it's a lot of ppl in this town, and we're thinking of switching, but that's a whole 'nother story!)
ReplyDeleteKeep holdin' on! We'll go crazy together! Most days i'm tempted to just throw my hands up and yell, "that's it! I'm not having ANY more kids!!!"
It does get better! I think every baby goes through times like this. My mother used to say that lots of times babies get fussy right before they're ready to make a change. (New teeth, sitting up, walking, etc.) If nothing else is working, I'd use that swing and nap. Hang in there! Don't give up your exercise time. So glad you have a husband who will step in and help. Good Luck! You've got lots of people who feel your pain.
ReplyDeleteDo not feel bad about doing things for yourself! I promise you that pretty much every mom has felt the same way you are feeling right now. Sometimes they go through phases, and all you can do is try your best and wait it out. If you are having a bad day feel free to drop the little guy over here so you can take a nap!
ReplyDeleteDear Rissa,
ReplyDeleteI love you dearly. You are an inspiration to me, even when you're having a hard time. Every time that I think of you and that darling baby, I get a big grin. Even though it's hard right now (and I know that I don't really understand, since I don't have kids yet), I know that you're strong enough to make it through. You're not just an incredible mom, but you're also an incredible sister and friend. I miss you so much and look forward to the day that I can call you freaking out about something going on with my future children (no I'm not pregnant), and you can tell me to get it together and take a chill pill. You are so amazing, and I consider myself blessed that I can call you family. If you ever need to complain to someone who isn't going to try to give you a solution, give me a call. I LOVE YOU!!!!
I think a woman can survive anything- labor, postpartum recovery, crossing the plains... but loss of sleep is the silent killer! It undermines everything else. I hear ya all the way. You're doing a great job though! There's a lot of other good advice from the other commenters that would be worth trying. I hope he improves soon. I'll pray for you!
ReplyDelete