It's been a week since I updated. I think that's the longest it's been in awhile! Forgive me, I've been a little preoccupied... :-)
I cannot believe Blake is 2 weeks already! 2 weeks and a day to be exact. Time has absolutely flown by!
The first week was really tough. Blake really had a hard time eating. He didn't want to suck and he just wouldn't latch on or eat at all. It was really disconcerting. I really struggled alot and was really worried. Especially when we went to the doctor and he had lost 11 oz since birth. So I started pumping and giving him a couple bottles to help get him food. Also, the lactation specialist at the hospital didn't spend much time with me trying to get him to latch on. I thought it was a problem with myself, having flat squatty nipples. The last day we were there we couldn't get him to latch so she just handed me a nipple shield and got him to latch on that enough that she left and let us go home. So then we got home and I couldn't get him to eat or latch or anything. He started getting the hang of sucking by taking a bottle. So that was good.
I had no idea how hard it would be and how real the "baby blues" were until we got home. I'd read about it and heard a little, but nobody told me what it would really be like. I have never felt so out of control of my body and emotions. It seemed like everything made me cry, good or bad. I felt so inadequate and incapable of taking care of a newborn. I felt so cooped up and tied down like I would never get out of the apartment, never see other people again, never be able to go anywhere, never have my life back, never feel like I got enough sleep, etc. I felt like my life was suddenly ONLY feed him, change diaper, put to sleep, repeat. With not enough time in the middle for me to accomplish anything or take a nap. A couple times I just started bawling my eyes out and when Scott asked what was wrong I wouldn't have any idea. I really really struggled and really started getting worried that I might get postpartum depression.
Thankfully, after only a few days of this, Blake decided to latch on really well to the shield and starting eating alot more. And faster too! Before it took him at least an hour, sometimes longer, to eat. Scott and I went and visited some friends and went to the store. I opened up the blinds and let some sun in the apartment. Things started getting better! I also realized that the more people I talked to about the problems I was having nursing, the more people I found that had experienced my same problem! I realized I was not alone. I also realized (after lots of positive affirmation from Scott), that it was OKAY to pump bottles for him to eat. He would still be getting breastmilk and that's what really matters. (Funny how all this happened because when I was pregnant, I was weirded out by nursing and apprehensive of it) I felt like I wasn't a good enough mom if I gave him bottles. Tons of people seem to be against that so I felt like it wasn't okay. But then we decided that the ultimate goal was to get food into him and if a bottle was the only way, then so be it.
But now things are tons better! Blake eats like crazy now. We still have to use the shield. It's a hassle and annoying for me, but he is getting enough food and he nurses well with it, so I'm okay with that. I definitely want him off of it, but I think it'll take a little time and work. We're also on what I feel like is a really good schedule! After talking to some friends and reading Baby Wise, we have pretty much gotten ourselves on that type of schedule. And I feel like it happened without trying too hard. He eats consistently every 3 hours. And he only takes about 30 minutes or so to eat! After eating, he spends time being awake and we play with him or hold him. Then we put him down for a little nap for an hour or so. Then he wakes up and repeats. This happens throughout the whole day. Then at night, I feed him about 9pm, put him straight to bed and he doesn't wake up til around 12. Then I repeat the same thing for night. Feed and put straight back to bed. Sometimes he'll lay in his bed with his eyes wide open, but I don't talk to him or play or anything. I just turn off the light and go to bed. He eventually falls asleep on his own. It's been great! I can't believe how consistent he is too. It's been so fantastic because I know exactly when he needs to eat so I can plan my day around feeding times. Also, he is great about just staying awake and not fussing so I know I can do things during that time too. It's so wonderful. I've also realized that I MUST get at least 7-8 hours of sleep to feel emotionally stable for the day. To accomplish this, I just go to bed as soon as he's down after the 9pm feeding. Then I have a 10 hour time block until about 7:30 or so to sleep. Subtract his feeding times and I get sufficient rest to be awake for the day after his 7 something feeding.
Now for the not so good part. I felt fantastic only a few days after having him, and I was cooped up and wanted to get out, so we got out. We've pretty much been out every day doing something for the past week. I think I did those things too soon. I've started feeling sore again and not so great. So I need to take it easy for a few days again. It's so true to not do too much before your body is ready! And even though you might feel great, it doesn't mean your body is ready! I keep forgetting I just had a baby. I'm pretty sure that's quite traumatic for the area he came out of, so it makes sense that I would need more than a week to recover. Silly me.
Overall though things are going great. It is so nice to feel like Blake is on a schedule and eating consistently. It's also been so great to have my mom here for a week, and then Scott's mom here for a few days. I can't believe how much Blake has grown already! At his 1 week check up he had gained back 12 oz! So almost a week ago he weighed 7 lbs 9 oz. The doc said they like to see 2/3-1 oz weight gain per day. In 7 days he gained 12 oz, so almost double. Which is so great! He's eating like a champ and dirtying/wetting tons of diapers. He is a really sweet, good baby. He doesn't really fuss or cry unless he needs food or to be burped. I think he doesn't like something I'm eating though, maybe chocolate. He seems to have some gas that is making him uncomfortable. He smiles all the time (randomly), lifts his head up when he's laying on our chest and he rolls over to the side when he's laid down flat on the ground. He gets more cute every day! His eyes are huge and beautiful, his skin is still amazing color and his hair is starting to lighten a bit. He's still under 8 pounds so he's a little guy, but I love it that way. He's super snuggly and absolutely loves to nap curled up on my chest. I love it too. When he's awake he is super alert and looks around at everything. He's so curious and likes to stare at faces and things. He is a super kicker and will probably be a soccer player. We absolutely LOVE him!!!
And now, on a funny side note... I'm sitting on our bed writing while Scott folds our clean laundry. I have this problem with taking my clothes off inside out. So as he's folding, he's giving me gold, silver or bronze stars for the clothes I have that are not inside out. If I get 3 silver stars, it's equal to a gold. 9 bronze to get a gold. 3 bronze to get a silver. It's pretty hilarious. He's at 100% and with the white load, I failed and only got 30%. It's really funny :-)
Oh, and it was pretty cool because we got a huge snow storm this week (by huge I mean 5 inches of snow). Logan cancelled classes on Thursday, and then had a snow schedule Friday and cancelled the Tri 2 labs, so Scott didn't have school either day! It's been great to have him home.
I can't think of anything else to write right now. I'm sure I'll think of more later, but this seems to be a long enough post. And even though it's posted by Scott, he didn't write it.
