Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Playground Parenting and other random things...

Gosh I feel like I should have so much more on my mind and something interesting to write than the blank nothingness that is floating around in my head.

And when I say nothingness I really actually mean tons-of-ness.

Things like:
-tornado watches and Midwest thunderstorms
-hiding in the bathroom on our 3rd floor apartment for the first time in almost 3 years because we were actually worried about the possibility of a tornado. I've never heard wind that loud before, but it wasn't a twister.
-the bombing at the Boston marathon. Blows my mind (no pun intended) that someone would do something like that. It's so sick and wrong on so many levels.
-two days later President Obama receiving a letter that contained the poison Ricin. It was intercepted by the mail room, but still. Is it connected to Boston? Is someone trying to send about message about the stupid gun control bill and immigration laws that are trying to be passed?
-do we need "bomb control" laws now, too?
-parenting, and specifically, how to raise boys that are tough and don't cry.
-parenting, specifically on how to not be a helicopter mom and how to raise confident kids.
-parenting, and how to take care of a newborn and a 2 1/2 year old.
-what are pain medication options other than an epidural for labor & delivery.
-how to effectively teach 4 year olds about Baptism


Last weekend we had an opportunity to house and babysit for some friends who had to go out of town. They have two, sweet, six year olds (not twins). We had a great time and lots of fun, but it made me think. I wondered how on earth I'd ever be able to have my own three kids, how people pay for kids, and how to raise and discipline kids with such. different. personalities. I guess I'll find the answers to those questions when I have three kids of my own!

I also had an experience at the park, while watching these kids plus my own, that really made me wonder. My sweet little Bubs was playing and saw a girl that had a stick. Somehow (I didn't see it), he apparently got/stole/took? the stick from her. Her mom (and grandma??) immediately went to go find her another stick, or three, and said "oh, it's okay, here's more sticks for you!" The girl I was watching also went out to get a stick for the little girl and brought it back. The gals said thanks and one of them said "we'll just keep these other ones too just in case..." So with Bubs and his stick, he decided to start banging it on the rail of the stairs that went up a hill. He was bothering nobody, doing nothing wrong, when the same girl decided to walk up the hill right next to the rail on the grass, right in front of where Bubs was playing with his stick. She could've walked behind him on the stairs, behind him on the other side of the rail, or further away from him. But she chose to walk really, really, close to where he was. The mom (and grandma?) suddenly jumped up and got mad at BUBS telling him to stop hitting the stick and be careful with it. Even reaching out to try and grab the stick in an effort to get him to stop banging. Eventually they scooped up their girl and took her somewhere else.

All the while they kept glancing at me, who was standing at the top of the hill watching this unfurl, and clearly making quiet comments to each other.

This lead me to wonder....
-Was I in the wrong for standing and watching my child without jumping in? (he wasn't intentionally harming anyone)
-Was I in the wrong for not trying to protect the girl from the choice she made?
-Was I being a "negligent parent"?
-Should I have walked down and taken the stick from Bubs?

In my mind, I felt like he was doing nothing wrong. He was simply playing with a stick on the railing and not trying to hurt anyone. He was not aware of the girl walking up and he didn't make any sort of gesture to try and hit her. (nor did he ever actually make contact with her)

I'm not sure how it is in other areas, but I feel like the city/county we live in is full of helicopter moms at the playgrounds. I'm the type of mom that as long as I can see my kid and see that he's safe, I don't intervene. I let him climb, jump, run, trip, fall, get hurt, and deal with other kids. Because of this, several times I have felt immature, young, incompetent  and unwise as a mother in the eyes of older mother's because I'm just standing there. I know I can be sensitive to things, so maybe they're not thinking I'm a young, immature, and incompetent mom, but it can be frustrating and chip away at my confidence.

I read a really great article that my cousin shared about the detriments of being too protective of your kids. It made me feel alot better about how my husband and I parent, and made me think I'm really not incompetent, immature, or unwise. Though I may not agree with the entire article, I think the main message it's trying to express is pretty accurate. Check it out by clicking here

In the end, every kid is specifically given to the parent they need. So who am I to say one mom is better than another? Because we're not. We're exactly who we need to be for our own children. Yes, there are always things we can do to improve and be better, but God sent us the kids we got for a specific purpose and reason! Which means that really, nobody can be a better mom for Blake than I can. The same goes for you and your kids, and doesn't that make you feel AWESOME?!

"it's too bright!" (the flash)

2 comments:

  1. You're doing a great job as a Mom! I agree that helicopter parenting is in no one's best interest. I have found that it is REALLY hard for me when other people try to "parent" my kids. Whether it's at the playground, the store, the school, or even at my Mom's house, I get a little riled up inside! I don't like it when other people discipline, glare at, talk about (negatively), or otherwise interact with my kids. It really just bugs me. I'm learning to develop a thicker skin, and to butt out when it comes to other people's kids too. Anyway, I totally get that feeling!

    Oh, and another random thought: I had Stadol as pain relief with my first 3 kids. It was wonderful with #1 and #3, but #2 was bad because I also had Pitocin (labor was at a halt). I totally recommend Stadol - it helps to just take the edge off. Just stay away from Pitocin. Um, anyway - I'm sure I could go on and on as we women do when discussing childbirth...

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  2. Thanks for writing your insight into mommyhood. I sometimes *all the time* feel like an incompetent mom and I think motherhood can make you feel that way mainly to show your own weakness and make them strong. But anyway, I'm glad you brought up that our children were sent to us specifically because the way that we parent is what they need, its just what I needed to hear. :)

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