"you're having a baby in 3 weeks and still wearing what!?"

I had a really tough week last week. 

The combination of being very pregnant, chasing a toddler, having a very busy husband, and not getting enough sleep, made for a basket case of emotions. I don't think it helped that it was also the one year anniversary of my little sister's wedding (congrats Jas, love you!), which was the most difficult week of my life....and I think my entire family probably felt the same way. 

I don't know if it's scientifically proven that your body remembers and reacts to traumatic events on the yearly anniversaries, but it wouldn't surprise me if it were true. 

Now that things have calmed down a little, I'm feeling much happier. Not too mention I was seriously pampered for my entire birthday weekend! It was really fun to shop for things I wanted instead of things I need. Mostly because I can't buy maternity clothes since I'm so close to delivery and I can't buy normal clothes because I'm still pregnant, and I can't buy running shoes until I start running again. So shopping was much more fun and very uncharacteristic of my normal "research for weeks and find the best deal possible" mindset. I did use a coupon for almost everything I got, so I didn't feel completely crazy!

Here are some highlights:

-seeing a best friend's brand new baby, first time mom!

-treating myself to a pedicure and some fancy new makeup for my birthday (okay, okay, quality makeup is SO worth the money)

-shopping with my boys and finding cute new jewelry and scoring a free shirt at Loft

-eating delicious french toast with buttermilk syrup, almost like Kneaders

-scoring two super soft and comfy skirts at a church thrift sale (practically free)

-seeing Bubs' face light up when he saw the plastic boat I got for him at the thrift sale

-shopping with my boys for a new cake pan and finding the perfect summer heels, then buying them spur of the moment!

-chatting with my sister and finding out she bought me a subscription to Runner's World! 

-spending a night out with my man, eating at Tucanos and seeing "42"

-eating the most delicious pulled pork sandwiches and texas fudge cake with our family on Sunday night. (click here for the pork recipe, you won't be disappointed)

Seriously, it was one of the best birthday's I've had in a long time. 

If I had instagram, this is what I'd post:

#whyyesim37weekspregnantandwearing4.5inchheels #whatelsewouldiwear? #gillegirl! #ineedatan

The cashier at DSW was pretty impressed I was so pregnant and wearing such high heels. Girl, have you seen my closest? I don't own a pair of heels less than 4 inches! Of course I will wear them no matter how pregnant I am and despite my chiropractor hubby reminding me every time how bad it is to wear heels (following up quickly with how hott he thinks it is and how he wouldn't want me to stop wearing them anyway, HA!)

Happy Monday, everyone! I hope it's a fabulous week!

Paint, Mud, and Baby, Oh my!

Not only do I have a miniature clone of my husband, he is a complete and utter copycat. Our kid seriously loves his dad and wants to do everything exactly like him. Which is really cute when they're lounging outside on a beautiful afternoon...

Not so cute when it's throwing balls up to the ceiling in my kitchen...

Since Missouri can't seem to decide if it's Winter or Spring yet, and was cold and rainy the other day, Bubs asked to "paink". I happily agreed and intelligently covered him in an apron. It started off as a nice, casual, calm, activity...

Then he suddenly remembered that one time we went to a ceramic store with Grammy and she painted his hand and foot to get hand and footprints. Of course he had to try it himself. All the way up his arm.

And since painting your own hand and arm is most definitely not satisfactory, you must, of course, paint mom's hand too. See that evil little grin poking through?

Then, because painting mom's hand is still not enough, you must squeeze out half the bottle of paint onto the plate, let mom start painting your hand, then realize it's much faster and more efficient to dunk your hand in the paint. Smear, smear, smear. Rub up the arms. Smear on the table. Smear on the chair. Smear on the plate. Smear on the paper. I had to stop taking pictures because things were getting far too messy.

However, he had a blast. And he was happy and calm for 20 minutes. Score!

Thank you to whoever invented washable paint. Pure genius.

Later this same morning, on our way inside from the car, in true boy fashion, Bubs decided to jump off the concrete step and land in a puddle of mud. Of course mud is slippery, but he didn't know that, so he immediately fell back on his butt, slid on to his back, and finally bumped his head on the step (softly). I laughed. He freaked out. Why? Because he got dirty. Oh dear. At least he's tough. I've accepted the fact that boys and mud come as a package deal.

Last but not least, we finally had our 36 week ultrasound this week. I wish could have been longer because I love seeing the baby move, but having a short ultrasound usually means having a healthy baby, so I can't complain about that. Here are the comparison pictures of our boys. Who is who!? I'm pretty sure they could be twins based on the pictures.

Kyson is on the left, Blake is on the right. They both have their hands across their face, pudgy noses, and luscious lips. I can't wait to meet our baby!

The Miracle of a Healthy Pregnancy

Today is one of those days I am seriously counting my blessings.

First of all, grateful I was not in Boston last week! Scary stuff. Grateful they finally caught the guy and hopefully answers will follow.

Secondly, my healthy and easy pregnancy.

I will be honest, the first few months of this pregnancy I was really unhappy. Not that I didn't want to be pregnant, because I did! But because I had worked so hard for months to eat right and exercise and I was finally at a very satisfactory place with my body. I felt strong, confident, in shape, and happy. Then I got pregnant. I felt sick. I stopped running. I started eating worse. I felt awful about myself. Every time I looked in the mirror I felt huge, bloated, terrible. Truth is, looking back on pictures and the weight I had gained, you really couldn't tell I was pregnant....and I didn't look huge or bloated. In fact, I didn't really look much different at all, except bigger you know whats...

Anyway, it took a long time for me to grow out of that misery and self-corrosion. I admit, some days are still worse than others, but I have come a far way and I feel much better about myself.

Then I hear news of friends. Good friends. Strong women who are and were pregnant at the same time as me.
One who had her baby 6 weeks early and has been visiting the NICU daily in hopes of good news.
One who lost her baby just days after announcing their pregnancy.
One who finally got pregnant after much heartache, and found out her baby might not live to term.
One who is having her first and found out he has a severe heart condition, and may also not live to term.
One who just had her first and is waiting for her to be out of the NICU.

Then I think back to myself.

I am healthy.
I have had zero complications.
My baby is active and moving like crazy.
Our first ultrasound was perfect. Our second is scheduled for Tuesday.
I had a perfectly healthy baby number 1.
I feel great.
I'm not sick.
I have easy pregnancies.
I have no major pregnancy issues or concerns.
My doctor has told me several times that everything looks perfect and I'm perfectly healthy.

Why on earth should I ever for a moment feel the need to complain?
...because I'm human, and a woman, and that's what we do sometimes.

In reality, my heart is overwhelmed with gratitude for what I have and what I have been given. My heart aches for my friends and family who are struggling through such difficult trials. I don't know how to offer comfort other than prayers, words of encouragement, and support. I don't know what they're going through. I can't imagine the heartache and pain they must endure.

It makes me realize what a miracle pregnancy and childbirth really is.
It makes me grateful for how incredibly blessed I have been.

I know we all experience our trials in different ways, and some seem harder than others, but I know that God will never give us a trial we cannot endure. Thus I know that all of my friends are so strong and will be able to overcome.

Playground Parenting and other random things...

Gosh I feel like I should have so much more on my mind and something interesting to write than the blank nothingness that is floating around in my head.

And when I say nothingness I really actually mean tons-of-ness.

Things like:
-tornado watches and Midwest thunderstorms
-hiding in the bathroom on our 3rd floor apartment for the first time in almost 3 years because we were actually worried about the possibility of a tornado. I've never heard wind that loud before, but it wasn't a twister.
-the bombing at the Boston marathon. Blows my mind (no pun intended) that someone would do something like that. It's so sick and wrong on so many levels.
-two days later President Obama receiving a letter that contained the poison Ricin. It was intercepted by the mail room, but still. Is it connected to Boston? Is someone trying to send about message about the stupid gun control bill and immigration laws that are trying to be passed?
-do we need "bomb control" laws now, too?
-parenting, and specifically, how to raise boys that are tough and don't cry.
-parenting, specifically on how to not be a helicopter mom and how to raise confident kids.
-parenting, and how to take care of a newborn and a 2 1/2 year old.
-what are pain medication options other than an epidural for labor & delivery.
-how to effectively teach 4 year olds about Baptism


Last weekend we had an opportunity to house and babysit for some friends who had to go out of town. They have two, sweet, six year olds (not twins). We had a great time and lots of fun, but it made me think. I wondered how on earth I'd ever be able to have my own three kids, how people pay for kids, and how to raise and discipline kids with such. different. personalities. I guess I'll find the answers to those questions when I have three kids of my own!

I also had an experience at the park, while watching these kids plus my own, that really made me wonder. My sweet little Bubs was playing and saw a girl that had a stick. Somehow (I didn't see it), he apparently got/stole/took? the stick from her. Her mom (and grandma??) immediately went to go find her another stick, or three, and said "oh, it's okay, here's more sticks for you!" The girl I was watching also went out to get a stick for the little girl and brought it back. The gals said thanks and one of them said "we'll just keep these other ones too just in case..." So with Bubs and his stick, he decided to start banging it on the rail of the stairs that went up a hill. He was bothering nobody, doing nothing wrong, when the same girl decided to walk up the hill right next to the rail on the grass, right in front of where Bubs was playing with his stick. She could've walked behind him on the stairs, behind him on the other side of the rail, or further away from him. But she chose to walk really, really, close to where he was. The mom (and grandma?) suddenly jumped up and got mad at BUBS telling him to stop hitting the stick and be careful with it. Even reaching out to try and grab the stick in an effort to get him to stop banging. Eventually they scooped up their girl and took her somewhere else.

All the while they kept glancing at me, who was standing at the top of the hill watching this unfurl, and clearly making quiet comments to each other.

This lead me to wonder....
-Was I in the wrong for standing and watching my child without jumping in? (he wasn't intentionally harming anyone)
-Was I in the wrong for not trying to protect the girl from the choice she made?
-Was I being a "negligent parent"?
-Should I have walked down and taken the stick from Bubs?

In my mind, I felt like he was doing nothing wrong. He was simply playing with a stick on the railing and not trying to hurt anyone. He was not aware of the girl walking up and he didn't make any sort of gesture to try and hit her. (nor did he ever actually make contact with her)

I'm not sure how it is in other areas, but I feel like the city/county we live in is full of helicopter moms at the playgrounds. I'm the type of mom that as long as I can see my kid and see that he's safe, I don't intervene. I let him climb, jump, run, trip, fall, get hurt, and deal with other kids. Because of this, several times I have felt immature, young, incompetent  and unwise as a mother in the eyes of older mother's because I'm just standing there. I know I can be sensitive to things, so maybe they're not thinking I'm a young, immature, and incompetent mom, but it can be frustrating and chip away at my confidence.

I read a really great article that my cousin shared about the detriments of being too protective of your kids. It made me feel alot better about how my husband and I parent, and made me think I'm really not incompetent, immature, or unwise. Though I may not agree with the entire article, I think the main message it's trying to express is pretty accurate. Check it out by clicking here

In the end, every kid is specifically given to the parent they need. So who am I to say one mom is better than another? Because we're not. We're exactly who we need to be for our own children. Yes, there are always things we can do to improve and be better, but God sent us the kids we got for a specific purpose and reason! Which means that really, nobody can be a better mom for Blake than I can. The same goes for you and your kids, and doesn't that make you feel AWESOME?!

"it's too bright!" (the flash)

30 week picture comparison & a Name!

Okay so I'm not 30 weeks anymore, but I found these comparison pictures and thought I'd share.
Mostly because it's a self esteem booster for me.
With Blake I started out 10 pounds heavier than this baby. I also gained 40 pounds by the end. So far, with this one, I'm doing much better and on track to gain 35. Wahoo! If I manage to stay on track, when I deliver I'll be 15 pounds lighter than when I delivered Blake. Wow! That will definitely make dropping the baby weight easier.

Anyway, this makes me feel much better when I have really crummy feeling days.
Now that I'm 33.5 weeks, I'm getting much bigger and much more uncomfortable.
My worst discomfort is something that happened with Bubs too: a stretching, burning, pulling, pain right under my rib cage on the side, wrapping around to my back. It's no fun. Being adjusted helps temporarily, but it's annoying and can be really painful! I guess that's what happens when the baby starts getting big and tucking his little legs under my ribs...


I'm getting more and more excited each day to have a new baby around the house! Bubs is pretty excited too and makes comments almost every day like "Wanna have a baby brother!" "Find my brother!" He's such a smartie pants. Scott loves feeling my belly and feeling this little guy party all the time. His favorite party hour? Between 11pm-12 am. Sweet.

And, last but not least, we've decided on a name. Well, a first name anyway. We're still working on a middle name since we thought it was a little too much to have him and his cousin have identical full names with only one letter different. Hehe. I have a middle name in mind that I love, but I don't know if Scott is on board with it yet (read: we haven't really discussed it).

So now that I sparked your curiosity, the name we've pretty much decided on is....

Kyson!

Unless something crazy weird happens in the delivery/recovery room, that's what his name will be. We've already been calling him it. A little weird for me and out of my normal comfort zone since I'm not huge on naming a baby before they're born, but nothing else has stuck or felt right. Plus, I looooove the name, so why not?

  
psst. My hair looks so much better blonde, doncha think?

Babies, Brother's, and a Blog Tragedy

In case you haven't noticed, there are a whole bunch of random grey boxes with minus signs in them all over my blog. Especially once you get to the posts that are older than Christmas. Why???

A blog tragedy.

Last night I was looking at the gallery on my Android phone and saw that an album titled "One + one = 3" was taking up 694 photos of "space" on my phone. So I thought, I need some more storage space since I'm nearly out, why don't I delete that album?

What I didn't know: That album was in fact a collection of EVERY SINGLE photo I have ever posted onto my blog in the past 6 years. That album was also NOT really on my phone taking up space. It was actually showing up by way of being connected through Google+ and was merely "floating" there via Picassa Web Albums.

What I really did not know: When I proceeded to delete that entire album via my PHONE, it actually deleted the entire album from Picassa Web Albums, which meant it deleted the album completely. Gone. Poof. Deleted.

The Consequences: Hours of time spent adding photos to blog posts in the past 6 years are gone. I have every post I've written, with words, but absolutely no photos. Nearly 700 pictures. Gone.

Needless to say, when I realized what had happened, I was devastated. Heartbroken. Crushed. In complete shock. A little research and a desperate email to my brother in law confirmed the awful: the album of pictures is non-recoverable and the delete was permanent.

The "Good" News: Fortunately while the album was deleted, most of the original pictures are safe and located somewhere between our desktop and two hard drives. So, we didn't completely lose the pictures, we just lost them off the blog. Now all we can do is put in hours and hours of work locating what we think are the appropriate pictures to match the blog posts in an effort to repair as much damage as possible. As soon as that is done, I will be printing off as much as I can into Blog Books. Something I have been wanting to do for years, never did, and now highly regret.

My Advice?: If you have Google+ and use an adroid device (I don't know if iphones have the same problem?), don't ever, ever, delete an album in your gallery from your phone to try and save space. The only prompt I received was "confirm deletions?" and once I said yes, there was no way to cancel or back out once it started deleting. I think that Google+, Andriod, Blogger, and Picassa Web Albums have a serious problem by allowing something like this to happen so easily without any warning or knowledge. I honestly had absolutely no idea what I was doing until it was permanent. I also know that others have had the same problem. Which means you think they would fix it and make it more difficult to have happen and/or make a way to recover the album.

Please don't let this happen to you!

Now, on to Babies and Brother's. 

Bubs was in a particularly delightful mood this morning, which was a tremendous blessing considering the night before and the severe lack of sleep I received. During breakfast he suddenly piped up, out of nowhere with no prompt: "I gonna have a brother! A baby brother! I find my brother." He lifted up his shirt, pointed to his belly and then decided he needed to actually go find his brother in the toy room.

He left and was back a minute later with a little stuffed turtle, announcing that it was his brother. He then proceeded to hold his brother, feed his brother eggs and toast, and say he needed to give his brother "cool hair." We went to the bathroom where he combed the top of the turtle's head and then applied some hair gel before saying "Cool hair! Don't touch it!" and returning to the table. After breakfast he said he wanted to watch Curious George with his brother, so we did.

I couldn't believe it. It was seriously the cutest thing I've seen in a long time. He obviously has the baby on his mind and is somewhat realizing he will have a brother. I am sure he has no idea what that actually means, but the fact that he is thinking about it is pretty impressive. I wish I had a video camera rolling the entire conversation, but I was only able to get bits and pieces and a cute picture.

Blake and his "brother"