Wednesday Confessions: When my Husband is Right

My husband will be the first to say that most of the time, I, his wife, am right.
But every so often, something arises and my pride soars while he gently tries to convince me that I'm wrong. He never does this in a condescending way. He never makes me feel like my opinion is not valued. He is always patient, gentle and kind when trying to nudge me toward realizing I'm actually wrong.

You see, not only did I marry an incredibly attractive man, I married a man whose personality is quintessentially in harmony with what my personality lacks. In areas that I struggle and fall short, he makes up the difference and brings me to a higher place. It's also vice versa. In areas that he may fall short, I make up the difference and raise him. Our marriage is not perfect, but it's pretty dang spectacular.

The most recent thing my husband has been right about was a statement he made to me one night: "Honey, I think you just read too much into things..."

Deep down I knew he was right, but I didn't want him to be. Then I experienced a situation that made me realize he was very much, in fact, right.

Rewind to the past: In my early teenage years, I had a few friends here and there that I thought were legitimately really close friends.  BFF's in fact. I thought they were genuine friends I could confide in and spend time with. However, it turns out they ended up back stabbing me, talking bad behind my back, spreading rumors, and eventually abandoning me. Because of this, I built a wall and guarded myself from becoming really close with others in the future.

I haven't recognized it until now, but those experiences as a young teenager have really affected my friendships later on in life.  I developed a subconscious block that caused me to have a difficult time opening up to others and thinking people really wanted to be my friend. I just assumed that if I said or did the wrong thing, they'd be out to get me, stab me in the back, or abandon me. I kept many acquaintances but nobody that I could call when something went really right or wrong.

Fast forward to moving to St. Louis. This is the most permanent place we've lived as a couple in the almost 5 years of marriage we've had. I've met so many incredible people here and built some really neat relationships. I've also experienced some hard times and thinking that people I thought were really good friends weren't. Come to find out later I was overreacting.

So my point is, my husband was right when he said "you read too much into things." I do. Especially when it comes to friendships. I overanalyze everything I say and do as well as many things others might say or do. Then I suddenly fall into a spiral of: "oh my gosh, does she not like me? Did I say something wrong? Why don't they want to be my friend? Do I just consider her a way better friend than she considers me?" 

This all became clear to me recently when something happened and I spent a considerable amount of time whining to Scott, feeling worthless, and like someone wasn't as close of friend as I had thought. He listened patiently, annoyed as well I'm sure, and then told me I was being silly and should not read into it so much. Not more than a couple days later, I had a conversation with the person and realized I was being an idiot and that Scott was 100% correct. He also reminded me that, regardless of what happened in my past, we're not in highschool anymore, people are not out to get me, and my friends will probably not stab me in the back.

He's right.

My goal moving forward is that I can stop overanalyzing every situation, stop reading into everything that happens, and relax. I really, honestly, have some of the best friends I've ever made here and I feel so blessed! I also feel blessed to have such an amazing husband that can remind me of the things that are most important in life, nudge me toward recognizing my weaknesses, and help me overcome struggles that I have.