An update in 13 dashes or less.

I never anticipated that blogging would take an all-the-way-in-the-way-back-trunk-space seat part of my life.
But I had a baby. So it did.

Here's what's happening lately in 13 dashes or less:

my cute "twins" 

-Kyson is 2 months, weighs 13.8 pounds (ch-ch-ch-chunky!), eats like crazy, sleeps like wonderful, is super chill, way happy, and uber snuggly.
-Blake is 2.5, weighs 26 pounds, and is 3 feet tall. He's super talkative, overly friendly, not scared of anyone, and carries on conversations like an adult. He also is very good at convincing: "Just one more, Mom, okay? Okay? One more. Okay." Or "Kyson isn't crying anymore. He is happy now! I helped him and now he is happy and not crying."
-Kaiya is better adjusted but as much as we love her, want to keep her, and will cry when she leaves, we have to give her up. It's just not going to work out to keep her with everything else that is happening. Enough on this or I'll cry.
-Scott is almost done with tri 9. We are working on the possibility of a preceptor-ship in Idaho that would move our family back in October instead of December. Everything is happening so quickly and is very exciting and overwhelming.
-I am busy. Tired. And happy.

-the end.

yes, he was pulling him around in the cart

-Just kidding.
-Me and the hubs finally decided we needed some major lifestyle changes. Not sure how or when it happened, probably somewhere between pushing a 7 pound cantaloupe out of my body and only getting 4 hours of sleep a night, but we got in the habit of eating. Eating much and eating junk. Without exercise.

-Once I realized I was actually gaining weight back, while nursing!, after dropping the initial quick post-baby pounds, and he realized he was teetering at a very precarious weight, we settled on some changes.
-Once again, the myfitnesspal app has been a lifesaver! We set our goals and we input our food. Very quickly we realized we would much rather eat a filling 160 calories of pistachios than a fluffy, airy, 100 calorie granola bar. We've transformed into bunny rabbits and squirrels and eat many a salad, wrap, fruit, and nut at our home.
-He's already lost 5 pounds and I've lost 4! We are also exercising consistently again and feeling very happy.

8 lbs until pre-preg, 13 til goal weight. my jeans fit again!

-I'm telling you, both he and I thrive off of exercise. We are a much happier family when we're active and moving!

-So now comes the moment that I stop writing because I've completely forgotten all the clever, funny, inspiring, controversial, confessional, and interesting blog posts I've composed in my head over the past three weeks. I now slink away and leave you with a simple, uninteresting, generic update on our family.

love, hugs, and cheesecake (that I wish I was currently eating)

happy, sleepy, baby

wanna squish those cheeks? me too

What I might have put as a FB status this week

Things I might put as Facebook status's this week if I were annoying:


1. My dog is watching TV. Whaaa?
2. Going to the pool is way more fun and way easier than I thought it'd be!
3. Ever had your child fall and have blood gush out their nose inside Toys R Us? We have.
4. Strollers, strollers, strollers. Ugh. Why didn't I buy the BOB for $275?
5. Anyone want a cute, energetic, soft, cuddly, black dog?
6. Dude, this baby likes to eaaaaat!
7. I need my hair done. Rockin' the unprofessional ombre.
8. This weather makes me excited to move back to Idaho!
9. I didn't really follow the Zimmerman trial, but I do know that only God knows what really happened and only He can make an accurate and fair judgement.

10. No Texas Fudge Cake should ever be nearly entirely consumed by just two people. Oops.

11. Watermelons should never, ever, ever, taste like pumpkins.

Happy Summer, friends! We're off to the pool!

The Past 6 Weeks

Well, I feel pretty lame for going oh, one day short of a month before updating my blog. Obviously, I've been a little busy. Wanna know what I've learned?

-Two kids is tough stuff. 

-Thrush is quite possibly the worst thing that could happen to a new mom!
-Sometimes natural remedies are really great, but when something goes unresolved for over 4 weeks, it may be time to get a prescription. Thus was the case with our Thrush infection. Oh, and it's still not completely gone.
-No new mom should ever be banned from chocolate (or any other treat) in the first few years weeks of motherhood.
-It is critical for me to get at least one 3-4 hour chunk of sleep every night. Crucial for me to get at least 6 hours total. Helpful for me to get 7 hours. Glorious if I get more than that. Thankfully, Kyson has been cooperative and sleeps like a rock from 10pm-around 2-4 am. It's lovely.

-Probably a good idea to give your newborn a bath more than one time in 4 weeks... Just sayin'
-Having an energetic dog in a third floor apartment with a new baby, a toddler, and a recovering mom, is enough to make anyone want to toss her off the balcony. Don't worry, it hasn't happened and won't happen.
-Sometimes the dishes don't get done, and it's okay.
-Sometimes the laundry doesn't get done, and it's okay.
-Sometimes the house is a disaster, and it's okay (for about 2 days).
-Taking a shower and putting makeup on now takes much longer and is reserved only for special occasion days. (jk...kinda)
-Sometimes we have experiences that force us to learn how to ask for help. Everyone is always willing to serve, but most people have a hard time asking...myself included.
-Breastfeeding and I do not get along well. Thankfully, someone invented pumps and formula.
-I am a much happier, less stressed, and more loving mother when I'm not freaking and stressing about trying to struggle through nursing my baby. I think emotional and mental stability for me is equally, if not more, important than exclusively breastfeeding.
-If I can drive 246 miles, ALONE, with a two year old and a newborn, I can pretty much do anything.

"Stop crying, Kyson!" 

(he got the binky himself and put it in)

-If I can survive 4 days and 4 nights by myself with those two boys, after driving 246 miles twice, I consider myself Wonder Woman and feel nearly invincible.
-I am so unbelievably grateful for my husband!!!!!
 

This is what a chunky Karissa-baby looks like.

-When it feels like all hell is breaking loose, the walls are crashing down, the kids are crying, the house is a mess, the dog keeps barking, and you haven't gotten more than 4 hours of sleep in the past 3 nights, remember, Heavenly Father takes care of his children and sends special angels in the form of friends to help out. I have never felt so blessed, loved, and taken care of by some of my very best friends. I don't know how I would've survived some of the days if I didn't have people that truly love and care for me help out!!

After a really, really, difficult day, I opened my scriptures and found this verse: 1 Nephi 1:20 (last half) "I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance."
This really struck me because I realized that my friends who had reached out and helped me the entire day, taking Blake, making us dinner, doing my dishes, were definitely tender mercies from the Lord. It was a blessing from God so that I could gain a little strength and feel closer to deliverance of the hard times. I can honestly say, after that day, I did feel a little stronger and like I could continue on for at least one more day. After that, things continued to improve and I have been doing better every day since then!

4th of July

Finally, one of the best things I've learned, or experienced really, is that it DOES get easier!!!!

Every day is easier than the last. I've figured out issues with myself, I've figured out routines for my kids, I've figured out how to multi-task better, I've figured out how to be more efficient. It's amazing how our capacity to love, serve, and work, expands with experience.

Re-purposing my maxi skirt into a dress. (6 weeks pp)

I love having my two boys! It has not been an easy 6 weeks, in fact, it's been terribly difficult, but I finally feel  like I'm getting the hang of things and I'm finally starting to feel like myself again! Now I just need to find a double stroller so I can start doing power walks and build up to running again...  No more excuses. 14.5 weeks until my Half Marathon. Better start training!

Love these guys!!!

40 weeks, 4 days, and 27 hours later

He is here!
Kyson Wade Dodds.
7 lbs, 11 oz, 21.25 inches long
May 24, 2013 at 5:06 pm.

Sometimes things don't always go as planned, expected, or hoped for. 

Such was the case with this labor. 

As some of you know, I debated back and forth whether or not to be induced. This was not a decision I took lightly. In fact, for weeks I prayed, searched the scriptures, studied Conference talks, and received multiple Priesthood blessings from my husband. I really had no idea what to do.

It all came down to the night before. I had received an "urgent" call from my doctor's office with someone saying that I must be at my appointment the following morning or at my scheduled induction. I felt very unsettled because she gave me no indication as to whether or not something was wrong. 

That night I received one more blessing from my husband. As we discussed what was said, I understood clearly that I was not going to get some lightning bolt inspiration of what I should do. But rather, that this was MY choice. And that I needed to make the decision. The process wasn't completely about patience, faith, trust, but really about coming to a decision and knowing that I'd done the things necessary to know I made the right one. 

That night I decided if I wasn't in labor on my own by my induction time, I would go ahead and be induced. I felt confident and satisfied with my decision.

At our doctor's appointment before the induction, he made me feel very calm and at ease about the whole process. He was confident things would be perfectly fine. He also made it clear that nothing was wrong, he just knew we had thought about induction and had us on the schedule just in case, but that he felt very comfortable with me waiting it out too. 

Around 1:00 pm, we were finally in our room and got things started. They started Pitocin about 2:00 pm on Thursday. Things progressed very, very slowly. Sometime overnight, my doctor decided it would be a good idea to break my water. I was a little wary, but Scott reminded me to trust his judgement, that he is a very skilled doctor and knew what was in our best interest. So we did. Labor continued to progress slowly, but I had an amazing nurse that was very patient, informative and helpful. She even unhooked me from all the monitors so I could take a shower and see what my body did on it's own. When the contractions dropped from 3-4 minutes apart to 15 minutes apart, she brought me a turkey sandwich, pudding, crackers, and peanut butter even though she wasn't supposed to. We hooked everything back up and went forward with renewed hope. 

Eventually, the contractions started to get very intense and I finally entered active labor. Unfortunately, our amazing nurse was off shift and a new, less than stellar, nurse took over. After 22 hours of Pitocin with no pain medicine, over 30 hours of awake time with no sleep, and very little food in my stomach, I decided something needed to change. The Pitocin wasn't doing anything but making my contractions very intense, then slightly less mild, and very intense again. I was not getting any break between the intense contractions and my body simply refused to relax. 

We all decided an epidural was needed in order for me to rest and relax so I would have enough energy to push when the time came. 

After getting the medicine, the room became much more calm. I felt much better and I knew I had once again made a right decision. I knew I had done all that I was capable of and I had learned what I needed to learn.

Once the epidural was in, baby Kyson was ready to come within about 4 hours. The delivery was wonderful! With Blake we had a NICU team, my doctor, a baby nurse, my two nurses, my parents, Scott, and a handful of residents/interns/students watching. 15 people at least. Bright lights and lots of eyes.

With Kyson, it was my doctor, my nurse, a baby nurse, Scott and my mom. Scott asked if the lights needed to be on, my doctor asked if I wanted them (of course I didn't!), and said we didn't need them. It was very calm, quiet, and intimate. I pushed for 30 minutes and he was out!

The best part of the experience was when I felt his head descending. I asked if they could see his head and they said it was partially out. My doctor asked if I wanted to touch it, so I did. I have never felt such joy, excitement, and energy surge through my body as I did when I felt the baby's head. After that it was about 2 more pushes and he was here.

They laid him on my stomach immediately and let me cuddle with him. Scott was able to cut the cord and I was able to try and start nursing right away. All things that did not happen with Blake. Kyson was really calm and looked around at everything with bright, wide eyes. He didn't peep when they took his measurements and wrapped him up. It was really so incredibly calm.    

Within a couple hours we moved to our recovery room. The rest of the hospital stay was very enjoyable and we had fabulous nurses. 

During the whole experience I learned so much. 

I learned that I am far stronger than I ever thought I was. I can honestly say I was shocked at my ability and strength when handling the intense contractions. I really had made up my mind that I was having this baby naturally and that I could do it. Unfortunately, things changed that prevented it, but I was also able to realize when I needed to change courses.

I learned that God is very aware of the details of our lives. He provides us with information when we ask, but then He also wants us to make the decision. He's a perfect example of a perfect parent. 

I learned that I can do hard things. I learned that having patience is essential. I learned that my body doesn't respond well to pictocin and trying to "force" a baby out. Now I know with our next baby that I really can wait and that all will be well. It's not a race to have a baby. 

Overall, the whole experience was wonderful. Yes, there were difficult moments, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I am grateful for the things I experienced and the knowledge I gained.

I am also especially grateful to have a very healthy baby!!!

All my "kids" wanted to be near me.

Blake absolutely loves his brother.

Dark Chocolate Cupcakes with Marshmallow Cream filling and Malted Chocolate frosting and the end of a pregnancy

**My thoughts and prayers go out to Oklahoma. I cannot imagine what it would be like to live through what some have experienced. I have lots of family in OK, and they are all safe. Seeing the tragedy at the school breaks my heart. I pray those affected will find peace and comfort!**

First things first. Since everyone is asking and it seems to be everyone's business (am I making it that way?) Here is your official pregnancy update:

Yes. I'm still pregnant.

Yes. My due date was the 20th.

Yes. I'm miserable.

No. There's been no "change."

No. I am not planning to be induced.

Yes. It IS normal to go overdue (contrary to popular belief and comments I've received).

When is the baby coming? Heck if I know! If it was my choice, he would've been here last week. (though I also chose not to be induced)

There, now you know so I don't have to answer any more questions. Here is, hopefully, my last belly shot. Taken on my due date. I know, I look thrilled. But thank you, I also think I look pretty good too. I've worked really hard and done a great job of trying not to explode, though some days I feel huge. Generally speaking, I'm proud of myself. I know it's not all about pounds, but when I deliver this baby, I will officially be 18 pounds less than when I delivered Blake. This I know because I have not gained an ounce in the past almost 2 weeks, despite eating like crazy, and according to my Doctor's scale I actually lost almost 2 pounds. 

Enough pregnant talk. I'm done with it. Let's chat CUPCAKES!!!!

A couple weeks ago one of my amazing and talented baker friend's stopped by with a surprise slice of cake she made for herself for Mother's Day. I thought the picture she took looked delicious, but I was completely floored when I tasted it! Best. Cake. Ever! Aside from maybe my wedding cake, although my wedding cake was not chocolate, so this one may actually have won. 

Anyway, she passed along a link for the recipe and I decided it was too much work to make a full six layer cake. So she informed me there was in fact a cupcake adaptation on the same website. Thank heavens! After my due date came and went, I decided it was time for cupcakes. 

What part of Dark Chocolate, Toasted Marshmallow Filling, and Malted Chocolate Frosting does NOT sound good? None of it. 

Toss in 3 cubes of butter, some heavy whipping cream, a splash of buttermilk, more sugar than flour, even more sugar in the icing, a few toasted marshmallows, a bar of Ghirardelli chocolate, and you have near cupcake perfection. 

My little man helped sample all along the way. Don't worry, he had a bowl of cereal for breakfast and cupcake filling and icing for his 9:30 am snack.

Although the recipe looks slightly intimidating and labor intensive, it is worth every second of time you will spend. And it really is not that hard if you take it one step at a time. 

For the link to the original pictures, recipe, and blog: Click here

Here is a copy and paste of her recipe for easy access (my changes at the bottom). Please, check out her blog. Her cakes are beautiful and amazing!

Campfire Delight Cupcakes

Yield: 12 standard cupcakes

Ingredients

For the Cupcakes:
• 3/4 cup + 2 tablespoons (110 g) all-purpose flour
• 1 cup (200 g) white sugar
• 1/3 cup (60 g) dark cocoa powder (I use Cacao Barry Extra Brute)
• 1 teaspoon (6 g) baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon (3 g) baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon (2 g) salt
• 1/2 cup (120 mL) buttermilk, at room temperature
• 1/2 cup (120 mL) brewed coffee or espresso, hot
• 1/4 cup (60 ml) vegetable oil
• 1 egg, room temperature, lightly beaten
• 1-1/2 teaspoons (7.5 mL) pure vanilla extract
For the Toasted Marshmallow Filling:
• 8 large white marshmallows
• 1/2 cup (63 g) icing sugar (confectioners' or powdered), sifted
• 1/2 cup butter (113 g)(1 sticks), at room temperature
• 1/4 teaspoon (1.25 ml) pure vanilla extract
• 1/2 jar (107 g) marshmallow cream (such as Marshmallow Fluff)
For the Malted Belgian Chocolate Frosting:
• 1 cup (2 sticks)(227 g), at room temperature
• 2 cups (250 g) icing sugar (confectioners' or powdered), sifted
• 1/3 cup (38 g) Ovaltine Classic (brown in colour)
• 1-1/2 teaspoons (7.5 ml) pure vanilla extract
• pinch of salt
• 4 oz (125 g) quality Belgian chocolate, chopped, melted and cooled
• 1/4 cup (60 ml) whipping (35% fat) cream
• Note Frosting will become a slightly richer brown tone a short while after making. If you are using a malt powder or Ovaltine that is not brown in colour, you can add an extra 3 oz, or so, of melted chocolate.

Instructions

For the Cupcakes:
1. Preheat oven to 350° F and line a muffin/cupcake pan with your favourite cupcake liners.
2. In the bowl of electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, sift flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder and salt.
3. In a medium bowl or measuring cup, combine the buttermilk, coffee, oil, egg and vanilla.
4. Add liquid mixture to dry ingredients and mix for 2 minutes on medium speed (you may need the plastic splashguard that comes with mixer), Divide batter among (2/3 full or just less) liners. Batter will be liquidy, and cupcakes will rise.
5. Bake for 15-17 minutes, or until toothpick or skewer comes out with a few crumbs. Try not to over-bake. Carefully remove cupcakes from the pan immediately (it's hot!), and place them on a wire rack until completely cool.
For the Toasted Marshmallow Filling:
6. Place marshmallows on cookie sheet lined with parchment paper and sprayed with nonstick cooking spray. Place on lower rack of oven, and broil marshmallows until nice and brown on top, between 30-60 seconds. Remove pan from oven and gently turn the marshmallows over, and broil until they are golden brown. (Be sure to keep an eye on them--they burn very quickly.)
7. In an electric mixer fitted with paddle attachment, combine butter and icing sugar on low until blended, about 1 minute. Add vanilla and mix on med-high for about 3 minutes.
8. Add marshmallow cream and toasted marshmallows, and mix on lowest setting for about 1 minute.
For the Malted Belgian Chocolate Frosting:
9. In a bowl of stand mixer fitted with paddle attachment, combine the icing sugar and butter and beat on low speed for about 1 minute.
10. Add malt powder, vanilla and salt, and beat on low until well combined. Add the melted chocolate and beat on medium speed until smooth (about 2 minutes).
11. Add whipping cream and beat on med-high speed for another minute.
12. Best used right away.
Assembly of the Campfire Delight Cupcakes:
13. Once cupcakes are cool, cut a cone shape hole from the top center of the cupcake downward, using a sharp paring knife or small spoon.
14. Using a small spoon, or piping bag fitted with plain round piping tip, fill the cupcake hole with Toasted Marshmallow Filling until it's level with the top of the cupcake.
15. Fill a large pastry bag (18") fitted with Ateco #887 (or the decorative tip of your choice) about 2/3 full and swirl the Malted Belgian Chocolate Frosting in a circular motion, beginning on the outside rim of the cupcake and moving inward. Gently release pressure when you reach the top of your swirl.
16. Top with real chocolate sprinkles and chocolate malt candy, such as Whoppers or Maltesers.
17. Cupcakes are best enjoyed the day they are made, but these keep particularly well in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 3 days (however, I've been known to eat them up to a week later, and they taste great!). If you do refrigerate, serve at room temperature.

***Karissa's changes: I don't drink coffee, so I used hot water per my friend's recommendation. Also, I used 2 oz. of 60% cacao and 2 oz. of milk chocolate Ghirardelli bar. Yes, I bought Hershey's special dark cocoa powder as well. The Ovaltine I used was "chocolate malt" flavor since I didn't see an "ovaltine classic" flavor. The chocolate icing made enough frosting for probably another dozen cupcakes, in addition to the 15 I was able to get. 

Hair and Makeup Faves

So when you're 9 months pregnant, there's not a whole lot you can do to make yourself feel attractive.
And actually, it may start even earlier than that for some!! For me it did.

If you've been pregnant, you know how it goes... None of your cute clothes fit. You get tired of the same 4 maternity shirts. You get sick of wearing the same skirt or yoga pants each day. You start seeing stretch marks and extra cushioning in new places, etc etc. I know that I have a hard time feeling pretty when these things start happening!!

However, two things changed this pregnancy...

1. Good Hair
2. Good Makeup

When I was pregnant with Bubs, I thought it was a "great" idea to dye my blonde hair back to brown. With a box. In the winter. When I couldn't possibly be tan. Bad idea. The color was flat, I looked washed out, and I felt worse. Eventually, after some time, I got it back to blonde, but it took awhile. I also never really wore great makeup. The combination of the two was not awesome.

So when my birthday rolled around a month before my due date, I decided to spend my money on non-clothing items, more specifically, good quality makeup. I can't really say what made me want to do this, but I was tired of my old makeup, tired of poor eye shadow colors, tired of cheap drug store mascara, tired of $1 eye shadow that didn't last, tired of eye liner that smudged off by 2 pm. I did some research, talked to some friends, and went shopping.

Wanna see what I found?

1. Urban Decay Cannonball mascara

A friend recommended this mascara, and when I walked in the store I heard the employees talking about it too. I asked, and they highly recommended it. I have not been disappointed! It lasts through tears and showers, so I imagine it'll stay on at the pool too! It also makes my lashes look long and beautiful, which I've been needing! Love this mascara.

Waterproof mascara

2. Urban Decay Naked 2 palette

I originally thought I'd purchase a palette for less than ten bucks. Then it didn't have good reviews, so I searched a little bit, asked some friends, and tested things out in the store. I could not believe how buttery soft and smooth this eye shadow is! Not too mention the high pigmentation. I got the original Naked palette and decided the colors were a little too warm for my skin tone and preference. So I exchanged and got the N2. I love it. I use it every single day and every single time I'm impressed, and I feel pretty!! Plus, it's super fun to try new combinations every day. It's a pricey palette, but I imagine it'll last me for several years, which is worth it. Also, individually, each color is about $20, so really it's a steal.

Eye shadow palette

3. Benefit, They're Real! mascara

I received a sample of this mascara at the store for my "birthday gift." The first time I tried it, I literally gasped and my jaw dropped. The brush bristles grab your eyelashes and really make the mascara stick. I've never worn a mascara that truthfully looked like I had false eyelashes on. This one does (I used a couple coats). It also has tremendous staying power, thought it's not technically "waterproof", it sure acts like it is. The only reason I like the Cannonball better is because the texture and feel of the mascara on my lashes by the end of the day.

Falsie mascara

4. Urban Decay 24/7 eyeliner.

I also got this eyeliner as a sample with my other purchases. I have been seriously impressed! It stays on better than any eyeliner I've ever worn except the Mac Fluidline eyeliner (in a pot). Though this is not technically waterproof, it also stays on very well and doesn't smudge easily. 

Serious eyeliner

I have realized after purchasing and using these higher quality makeup products that cheap makeup is pretty worthless. I always thought I was saving money by using cheap mascara, but in reality, I couldn't ever find one I loved, so I'd toss the bottle halfway through and buy something else. That adds up!! The only one I sort of liked was half the size of the Cannonball and half the price, so, essentially equivalent. I also realized the $1 eye shadows do not stay on well and don't look awesome even an hour after application, so you use more time and product re-doing and re-doing your makeup all day. It makes sense to me to spend a little extra on something higher quality that lasts longer, looks better, and makes me happier!!!

....I'm sure some of you who have already figured this out are giggling. I'm still learning here :-)

Now back to the hair. 

After that last bad hair dye job I did when I was pregnant with Bubs, I swore I'd never go brunette again, and I've kept true to that promise! It is truly amazing to me what a difference a fresh highlight can make in the way you feel. I feel lucky to have a good friend who lives right below us that does hair. And she does an amazing job with blonde, which I'm really picky about. So when she called this week and offered me a special opening to throw some highlights in before the baby came, I jumped all over it! I didn't realize how bad I needed color until I saw the end result!

As far as hair products go, I'm no expert in that realm. I bounce between cheap stuff and expensive stuff, depending on timing. If I had a bigger wallet, I would certainly use Pureology 100% of the time. My friend uses it when she does my hair, and it always looks and feels amazing for days without washing. No other product has done that. 

All in all, having good hair and good makeup can really make a girl feel better about herself! At least for me, especially when I'm pregnant. Now that you know some of my favorite products, what are some of yours?

Not "just" a Mom

Some people love Mother's Day. Some people hate it.
I'm not sure which category I fall into, but I wasn't looking forward to attending church yesterday.
Not because I don't love church, I do! Not because I don't love Mother's Day, I like it. But because I'm a week from my due date and I knew people would be thinking, wondering, and asking, when is the baby coming?
Normally it would be a little hard, being a week out, getting all those "how ya feeling? Anything changing?" questions. But this time it has been particularly hard. Probably because all the friends I know of who are/were pregnant and due within about 2 weeks before or after me, have all had their babies. Anywhere from 4 weeks to 10 days early.
Which makes me think, What's wrong with me?
When there is absolutely nothing wrong. In fact, I may be the more "normal" one.

Despite the mental preparedness I had to do before going to church, I knew I needed to be there, and boy am I glad I was.

In Sacrament Meeting, our dear Young Women President and all around amazing woman, gave the last talk. She shared a story that I thought was particularly applicable to so many women, in every stage of life.
She told of someone she knew that had a very high paying and glamorous job that left it to get married and have kids. One night, she, the friend, went to a dinner that was full of prestigious doctors, lawyers, and other various men and women with high paying and high status jobs. Their wives were there too. During the evening, each person got up and introduced themselves and said what they did. "I'm so and so and I'm a doctor. I'm a lawyer. I'm a TV host." etc etc. 
Then the women got up.
"I'm so and so and I'm just a mom..."
"I'm such and such, and I'm just a mom."
"I'm so and so, and I'm just a mom of six children."
On and on it went with the wives, each saying a variation of "I'm just a mom" with an almost regretful and apologetic tone.

Our speaker talked at length about how sad this is. How we as Mother's have a more noble and important responsibility and job than any other profession and how we should never, ever, say or think "I'm just a mom."

Later, in our Relief Society lesson, our teacher talked about liking ourselves. She mentioned how easy it is for us to look at our friends and others around us and compliment them on many things. But when it comes to complimenting and saluting ourselves, it's gut-wrenchingly difficult. It is hard to see the good in ourselves.

The combination of these two lessons really struck me to the core.

I am not just a mom. I am a Mother.
I need to stop negatively comparing myself to others for the things I lack and start seeing the good I have and am.

So for all of us mother's out there, you are not just a mom! You are a Mother! You are a co-creator of life partnered with God. You have divine guidance, inspiration, and intuition. Your job is so much more important and higher in status than the best doctor, lawyer, or multi-billionaire. Why? Because who raised those people? Mothers.

One of my favorite quotes I heard yesterday:

"Life doesn't come with a handbook. It comes with a Mother." 

Coupled with that is the need to see ourselves as Heavenly Father sees us. As a woman it is far too easy to compare, degrade, and diminish our own beauty, talents, and abilities. We think everyone else is better, prettier, skinnier, than ourselves. In reality, we need to recognize how truly amazing we are!

"Learn to see yourself as Heavenly Father sees you. As His precious daughter...with divine potential." 

(Dieter F. Uchtdorf)

Yesterday I struggled emotionally feeling like something was wrong with me because I didn't have a baby yet. I felt tired, uncomfortable, huge, unattractive, and impatient. I realized that I need to enjoy each moment of each day. Savor the "now" and relish in the fact that I have one more day to spend just with my husband and our first son. I have one more day to feel a baby moving inside of me. I have one more day to carry and nourish this baby so he can be born healthy and strong. I have one more day to not worry about feeding, changing, holding, and caring for a newborn. I have one more day to not be experiencing labor and recovery pain. I have one more day to sleep a little longer. I have one more day to be a partner in the creation of life. 

I am a Mother. I have always wanted to be one and now I always will. There is nothing in my life that has brought me greater satisfaction, challenge, frustration, happiness, sorrow, pain, and pure heavenly JOY than has being a mother. It is truly the most incredible gift and opportunity I could have ever hoped for. And you know what? I think I'm a pretty darn good Mom! Along with each and every one of you...whoever you are, reading this post.

So please, celebrate yourself and your beauty, talents, abilities, and strengths! Tell yourself what an amazing chef you are. Tell yourself how smart and intelligent you are. Tell yourself how loving, selfless, patient, and kind you are. Tell yourself what an incredible woman and Mother you are. Because it's true. You are not just a mom.