Not "just" a Mom

Some people love Mother's Day. Some people hate it.
I'm not sure which category I fall into, but I wasn't looking forward to attending church yesterday.
Not because I don't love church, I do! Not because I don't love Mother's Day, I like it. But because I'm a week from my due date and I knew people would be thinking, wondering, and asking, when is the baby coming?
Normally it would be a little hard, being a week out, getting all those "how ya feeling? Anything changing?" questions. But this time it has been particularly hard. Probably because all the friends I know of who are/were pregnant and due within about 2 weeks before or after me, have all had their babies. Anywhere from 4 weeks to 10 days early.
Which makes me think, What's wrong with me?
When there is absolutely nothing wrong. In fact, I may be the more "normal" one.

Despite the mental preparedness I had to do before going to church, I knew I needed to be there, and boy am I glad I was.

In Sacrament Meeting, our dear Young Women President and all around amazing woman, gave the last talk. She shared a story that I thought was particularly applicable to so many women, in every stage of life.
She told of someone she knew that had a very high paying and glamorous job that left it to get married and have kids. One night, she, the friend, went to a dinner that was full of prestigious doctors, lawyers, and other various men and women with high paying and high status jobs. Their wives were there too. During the evening, each person got up and introduced themselves and said what they did. "I'm so and so and I'm a doctor. I'm a lawyer. I'm a TV host." etc etc. 
Then the women got up.
"I'm so and so and I'm just a mom..."
"I'm such and such, and I'm just a mom."
"I'm so and so, and I'm just a mom of six children."
On and on it went with the wives, each saying a variation of "I'm just a mom" with an almost regretful and apologetic tone.

Our speaker talked at length about how sad this is. How we as Mother's have a more noble and important responsibility and job than any other profession and how we should never, ever, say or think "I'm just a mom."

Later, in our Relief Society lesson, our teacher talked about liking ourselves. She mentioned how easy it is for us to look at our friends and others around us and compliment them on many things. But when it comes to complimenting and saluting ourselves, it's gut-wrenchingly difficult. It is hard to see the good in ourselves.

The combination of these two lessons really struck me to the core.

I am not just a mom. I am a Mother.
I need to stop negatively comparing myself to others for the things I lack and start seeing the good I have and am.

So for all of us mother's out there, you are not just a mom! You are a Mother! You are a co-creator of life partnered with God. You have divine guidance, inspiration, and intuition. Your job is so much more important and higher in status than the best doctor, lawyer, or multi-billionaire. Why? Because who raised those people? Mothers.

One of my favorite quotes I heard yesterday:

"Life doesn't come with a handbook. It comes with a Mother." 

Coupled with that is the need to see ourselves as Heavenly Father sees us. As a woman it is far too easy to compare, degrade, and diminish our own beauty, talents, and abilities. We think everyone else is better, prettier, skinnier, than ourselves. In reality, we need to recognize how truly amazing we are!

"Learn to see yourself as Heavenly Father sees you. As His precious daughter...with divine potential." 

(Dieter F. Uchtdorf)

Yesterday I struggled emotionally feeling like something was wrong with me because I didn't have a baby yet. I felt tired, uncomfortable, huge, unattractive, and impatient. I realized that I need to enjoy each moment of each day. Savor the "now" and relish in the fact that I have one more day to spend just with my husband and our first son. I have one more day to feel a baby moving inside of me. I have one more day to carry and nourish this baby so he can be born healthy and strong. I have one more day to not worry about feeding, changing, holding, and caring for a newborn. I have one more day to not be experiencing labor and recovery pain. I have one more day to sleep a little longer. I have one more day to be a partner in the creation of life. 

I am a Mother. I have always wanted to be one and now I always will. There is nothing in my life that has brought me greater satisfaction, challenge, frustration, happiness, sorrow, pain, and pure heavenly JOY than has being a mother. It is truly the most incredible gift and opportunity I could have ever hoped for. And you know what? I think I'm a pretty darn good Mom! Along with each and every one of you...whoever you are, reading this post.

So please, celebrate yourself and your beauty, talents, abilities, and strengths! Tell yourself what an amazing chef you are. Tell yourself how smart and intelligent you are. Tell yourself how loving, selfless, patient, and kind you are. Tell yourself what an incredible woman and Mother you are. Because it's true. You are not just a mom.

Give yourself a hug!

My body finally decided to rebel against my habits of the past two weeks.
I guess that watching the Olympics every night and going to bed at 11:30 pm, then waking up at 5:00 am to run is not really the best idea.
Especially combined with ice cream or cookie dough nearly every day.
I've been punished with a sore throat, sneezes, congestion, coughing, and exhaustion.
Serves me right, eh?

Today my dear sweet toddler decided it would be wise to throw my almost brand new smartphone off our balcony.

We live on the third floor.

It landed on concrete.

Screen down.

I almost had a heart attack.

Thankfully, I was smart and had bought a good quality case to protect it.

And protect it it did. Not a scratch or bump.

Phew.

About ten years ago, when I was training at DanceWorks Conservatory, I helped assist some 3-4 year old kids combination classes. After we did a routine, learned a new step, or performed a combination of steps, we would always say "give yourself a hug!" 

Ten years later, I'm reflecting on that seemingly trivial concept of giving yourself a hug. 

Oftentimes I get stuck in a rut of feeling like I'm not quite good enough, especially when it comes to being a wife, mother, and homemaker.

I start to think my family is eating unhealthy because we're not eating 100% organic, because I've made cookies, because we had pizza one night, because sometimes Bubs won't eat anything but chicken nuggets and applesauce, and because we don't always have oodles of veggies with every meal.

I sometimes start to feel inadequate as a mother because I'm not sure how to play with my toddler, because I don't do pinterest worthy activities all day long (or ever), because I'm not always reading to him, because I'm not teaching him the ABC's, because I let him watch Cars while I cook dinner.

I sometimes begin to feel uncreative because my apartment is lacking cutesy decor, because my bedroom has no color scheme or really no decor at all, because Bub's room doesn't have a thing on the walls,  and because sometimes the floor is consumed by cars, toys, and all things toddler.

Do you ever feel like this???
I'm gonna guess you do.
And it sucks.

So for right now, I want you to stop and think about what is really most important:

Happiness. Joy. Family. God.

not the perfectionism of all things Pinterest.

I want to encourage you, and myself, to stop those feelings of negativity, and just 

give yourself a hug. 

Pat yourself on the back.

Strut your stuff.

Proclaim your magnificence.

Chances are, you're not giving yourself enough credit for the things you're doing.

To the wife who feels like a crummy cook: at least you're cooking! Even one home cooked meal a week is better than nothing, and it really is okay if it's not organic.
To the couple who loves to bake cookies: what a great time to bond and enjoy a yummy treat!
To the mother of the screaming children at the grocery store: don't be embarrassed, many of us have been in your shoes and understand how you feel.
To the woman who gets tired of cooking and is stressed out: pizza for dinner has magical healing powers!
To the mother of a picky eater: if at first you don't succeed, try try again. Someday he'll realize the value of good food.
To the wife who feels like she can't keep up with life: it's okay to take a break and do something for you.
To the mother who feels like a mean mom for disciplining her kids: thank you for teaching them boundaries and limits.
To the woman who feels inadequate, unconfident, and unloved: guess again, you always have the love of God, and chances are, your family loves you too.

It's okay if your house isn't always spotless.
It's okay if you don't shop organic.
It's okay if you don't wear the latest trends.
It's okay if your child isn't perfect.
It's okay if you eat out for a meal.
It's okay if you don't have the cutest home.
It's okay if your kids are a little crazy.
It's okay if you're not the fastest, strongest, best, compared to everyone else.
It's okay if your life is not a Pinterest perfect story.

Please, for one moment, think about all the good you are doing, all the happiness you are bringing, and all the love you are feeling around you. 

Consider your accomplishments. 

Focus on your successes. 

Revel in the joy that is living, breathing, loving, and belonging to a family. 

And by all means, GIVE YOURSELF A HUG!!!

Why I NEED to Run

Why I NEED to Run

...or so i think

To stay in shape

 To have a hobby

To do something for me

To re-define myself
To escape

To set and achieve unlikely goals
Because I really, really, like to eat

 Because I can.

We were cleaning out Dad's house not too long ago, and I came across a pile of old running magazines.

By old, I mean a few months or a year old.

I confiscated them and began feasting. 

I figured, hey, I bought new running shoes, clothes, and head bands, I might as well read about it.

I found two articles that hit me hard. To the core.

1.

The first was a story from a husband about his wife. She had seen him running every day for years and one day said she wanted to start running and asked for tips. 

He said: 

"First, you'll have to make yourself a priority. Get up and run, first, before somebody comes up with something they think is more important for you to do."

Ding-a-ling! Any moms out there that can relate? Everything we do is for someone else! Our hubby, our kids, our neighbors, our family. I know I can relate. 

He went on to state a bunch of great tips, and ended with this quote: 

"Now that I think about it, becoming a runner requires your to change just about everything about your life." 

I could use some positive changes in my life. I could use a hobby. I could use a more healthy lifestyle.

2. 

The second article hit home even more than the first. This time it was a woman sharing her story about how running saved her when one of her children was born with a serious bleeding disorder. She started running to cope with the stress, pain, and sadness. Also so she could cry without upsetting her family. At the end of her story, she said: 

"Running is the only thing I have that's mine. To go sweat, breathe, cry in the rain, and scream or sing in the woods is why I love running."

Amen.

And now, I will run.