The Lesson of the Kitchen Brush

Many years ago, when my mom was my teacher, chauffeur, therapist, and cook, she taught me a lesson I have never forgotten: everything has a center of gravity. 

It was one of those science lessons about balance and gravity and stuff, and I didn't believe her at the time. I really didn't think everything had a center of gravity and could balance on something else...so long as you found the center. 

During that lesson we tried balancing all kinds of different things: salt shakers, and, well, actually I don't remember what else. 

My point is, when we spent enough time moving an object minuscule corrections at a time, we eventually found the center of gravity and the object would balance perfectly on top of something else, or at a precarious angle, for a split second or two. (sometimes much longer)

Throughout my life, I have had this little lesson pop into my head on numerous occasions. I have also tried to precariously balance various objects at strange angles to test this belief. Usually after several minutes of minuscule corrections, I eventually find the center, and the object balances for a brief moment. 

I believe that just as everything has a center of gravity, everything also has a point of weakness. 

I found the point of weakness on my favorite kitchen brush this morning. 

It was a sad, sad, discovery. 

However, this incident caused me to ponder and reflect upon points of weakness, centers of gravity, outside force, and how it relates to me and Christ. 

1. Outside Force:

We all know there is an adversary, his name is Satan. He tries to bombard us daily with temptations, feelings, and actions that are very un-Christlike. He is the outside force. He constantly tries to find our points of weakness and break us. 

2. Points of Weakness:

Each of us have a weakness, known or unknown at the time, that our adversary loves to use as his way into our life. It may take awhile to identify, but when Satan finds that weak point, he will begin pushing ever so slightly in hopes that we will not recognize what is happening. When we adapt to the pressure, he pushes harder. It continues on until he has completely led us astray and broken us. However, for some, as soon as that weak point is found, he hits with enough brute force to break us the first time. 

3. Center of Gravity:

We all have a center of gravity, literally and figuratively. Our literal center of gravity is our abdomen. If our abs are strong and tight, we can balance and hold incredible poses. Think of gymnasts and ballerinas: endless fouette turns en pointe or back handsprings and flips on a balance beam. Because their core is engaged and strong, they are able to balance and freely move other parts of the body.

Our figurative (or perhaps somewhat literal as well) center of gravity should be Christ. Should, because for many it is, and many it is not. When our life is firmly grounded and centered in Christ, the whirlwinds of the adversary can blow about us and have no power over us. 

Helaman 5:12 says it much more eloquently than I can: And now, my sons, remember, remember, that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.  

4. Fortifying the Weak:

If we can identify our own personal weaknesses, come unto Christ in humility and faith, He will make weak things become strong. (Ether 12:27)

Recently I have been reading the book of Alma in the Book of Mormon. I just finished the war chapters and the accounts of Captain Moroni. He was constantly fortifying his cities and making the weakest areas become the strongest. When the Lamanites came to battle they were surprised and decided not to fight against the strong parts because they couldn't win. If we could be like Captain Moroni and fortify our weak points so our adversary couldn't win, how much better off would we be? 

Better off than my poor kitchen brush. 

Though I had not discovered a center for the brush to balance on, when I applied quick, brute force, by banging it on the sink edge to remove some oatmeal, I quickly (and depressingly) found the point of weakness and broke it. 

Amazing what lessons we can learn from a simple kitchen brush. 

Animal crackers, chocolate milk, and being a Mom

Sometimes I give myself pep-talks in my head. This is one of them:

Babies are funny creatures.

They sleep when you want them awake and they're awake when you want them to sleep.
They throw your gourmet lasagna on the ground and chow down the string cheese.
They hate your enchilada's, fajitas, and sloppy joe's, because all they really want is animal crackers and chocolate milk.

Why does mothering have to be so complicated?

Have you noticed the interesting social media phenomenon that is occurring in regards to mothering and parenting? I only really opened my eyes and realized what's happening by way of this blog post written by a friend. As I read it, I started thinking of all the websites I've read that relate to moms raising kids, and boy are there a lot! I'm quite sure you can google any parenting question you might have and thousands of websites would pop up with the answer. I know this because I've done it. More than ten times.

I'm definitely guilty of scouring mommy blogs for advice, tips, and suggestions. I'm also guilty of writing my own posts about what I think of mothering and tips I might give to people.

I don't believe these things are inherently bad. In fact, they can be quite good! I think the problem lies where the judging and lack of self-confidence start. Most often judgement goes unseen and unheard, but may be felt by a new, frazzled, stressed out mom who reads an article written by another mom who seems to have it all together. Her world is rocked by a stranger who perhaps wrote a phrase that made her feel inadequate, incompetent, and like she's doing the wrong things for her baby. The same feelings can be triggered by dirty looks in a grocery store or mall.

"Judgment, it seems, is the plague of motherhood". -really awesome article

Ain't that the truth?

I've felt it.
I'm guilty of judging.
And I've felt great quantities of self-confidence be sucked out of me when I've read someone's opinion or advice on a certain aspect of mothering that I failed to do, or that has failed to work with my child, regardless of whether or not it's from a complete stranger, and whether or not it was meant in a harmful way (usually meant to be helpful).

How unfair is that?

When I was newly married, I thought "man, now that I'm married I don't have to worry about what people think so much." wrong.

When I was just a few weeks pregnant I thought "wow, now that I'm pregnant I can eat whatever I want and gain weight and I won't have to worry about what people think." wrong.

After I had my baby I thought "cool, I have a baby now so I'll fit in with all the other mom's of babies and I'll feel totally a part of the 'in-crowd' of moms." wrong.

Funny how I'm continually learning that my own self worth cannot be determined by what other people think. If I'm always trying to please someone else, fit in somewhere else, or impress someone else, who am I letting down the whole time? Me.

How does this apply to mothering?

For me, I need to stop caring what other people think. I need to stop thinking that because so-and-so does it with their kids, I have to do it with mine. Or because I'm not doing such-and-such, I'm less of a mom. I have to realize that every single baby is different. Every single mother is different. Every single situation is different. There is no carbon copy rule book for moms that states what is right and what is wrong for every child. (except for neglect, abuse, etc, that are commonly known as wrong and dangerous)

The best instruction manual for parenting we can ever hope for is the scriptures.
The best person we can ask for advice from is God.
The best way we can identify things that work and don't is by trying them with our child and observing their response.

So, celebrate the joys of motherhood!
Rejoice in your accomplishments!
Relish in the moments of cuddling, smiles, hugs, open-mouth kisses, and begging for cookies.
Stop caring what people think of you and how you parent.

Because you know what? This too shall pass. And way too quickly.

Besides, I don't think a meal of animal crackers and chocolate milk is going to scar my baby for life.

Is life ever overwhelming?

Does life ever seem to get a bit overwhelming to you?

It does for me.
Especially at this current phase in my life.
I realized it last night as these words came out of my mouth: "I have two nanny jobs, a position in our YW presidency, and a new calling to be ward camp director", and Mr. Man is taking three Master's classes on top of his 33 credit hours, plus a 4 hour/week job. Which in simple terms = no husband 'til April.


And that's not even our life details.


Are we crazy or what?

Then something new hit me this morning: I like being so busy!
Is that totally weird?

There has been a scripture resonating in my brain during the past few days. It goes something like this:

2 Nephi 31:20 "Wherefore ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting on the words of Christ, and endure to the end, behold...ye shall have eternal life."


Except, late one night, when I shared this with Mr. Man as our "scripture reading" for the day, I changed it unknowingly: "if ye shall press forward, feasting on the words of Christ, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do." (which actually comes from 2 Nephi 32:3)

He groggily asked what that scripture meant to me, and my answer was instantaneous: You gotta keep on keepin' on, trusting and believing in Christ, having hope, loving God, and if you feast on the scriptures, you'll know what to do. You can find an answer to any life problem in the scriptures.


It didn't strike me until sunrise how deep and important the implications for my thought process was. A burden seemed to be lifted from my shoulders.

In the past week, I've attending several different training meetings and I keep hearing the same things over and over. Important much? Apparently. Be spiritually prepared. Know the Gospel. Grow close to God.


Anyone see an ongoing theme here?

I do.
I guess that's what's important.
I wish I could tell ya why I'm sharing these things, but honestly, I don't know.

I always wonder who really reads what I write, and how it affects them. I wonder if I write things that help. Or if I write things that tick people off. Or maybe I write things that are too embarrassing to be shared but because I lack a filter they come out anyway. Sometimes I consider changing how and what I write, but then I don't because I write what is me. This is me. This is my life. And this is how it comes out. You just get to experience it.

I hope you're not ticked off

I hope you're not embarrassed

I hope I've helped you in some way

By the way, what's with the thunderstorms and tornado sirens blaring at 3 am?
I always thought: January = snow.
Should I start reconstructing my whole understanding of the Seasons?

chocolate milk, here I come.

16 unrelated and unorganized things

16 Completely Unrelated and Unorganized things I want to share:

1. I'm cleaning out my ipod. I have some strange music.

2. I'm also not afraid to confess that when I was immersed in the dating scene I used to upload songs that my "boy" at the time liked so I would be more cool, and so I could relate to him more. Most of that stuff I never actually really liked.

3. I don't really feel like I have a music identity. I love Rascal Flatts, Black Eyed Peas, and Incubus. I also love Natasha Bedingfield, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and William Joseph. But mostly I really love Carrie Underwood, Goo Goo Dolls, and LMFAO. My favorite music years were the 90's. I could listen to 90's music all day, every day, and be perfectly content.

4. This is my baby with his buddy. They're 5 days apart. His buddy has always been bigger and my baby has always been small. He's only 13% for weight as a 12 month old.

5. This is my baby with his girl buddy. She is a doll. They were really enjoying the balloons.

6. This is my baby heading outside. I already shared this picture, so nevermind.

7. This is what happened when we decided to feed him frozen blueberries. He loved them. He ate the entire bowl. He wanted the spoon I was holding. He was not mad about being purple. 

8. These are the cupcakes I made for his birthday party. They look like poop on grass. Don't worry. That was my first thought, Mister Man's first thought, and every party guest's first thought too. It's easier to just say it outright instead of having everyone think it and get all uncomfortable and stuff. 

9. Just a little decor. What a boring picture.

10. My boys. They really mean the world to me. My bigger boy gave me a nice massage last night. It was really sweet and something that hasn't happened since we lived in Orem. What a hunk-of-a-man. 

11. For some reason every mom thinks their first child on their first birthday will have a ball smashing and inhaling his first cake. Most mom's take pictures of this milestone. What veteran mom's know and don't tell new mom's is that most kids don't actually smash the cake immediately, often not at all. Most kids don't want to touch the strange thing. The pictures that come from this event are often staged by the dad smashing the kids hands into the frosting and the kid proceeding to rub them all over his face in an attempt to remove the foreign substance from his extremities. This process is repeated to make the situation look more realistic until the child either screams in protest, refuses to participate, or decides to taste the sugar and realizes it's actually delicious. Not saying any of this happened...

12. I needed to pictate and document proof that I have one little creative bone in my body and can actually produce semi-festive concoctions. These were birthday cupcakes.

13. Snow day. The twenty minutes of dressing, exploring, photographing, and cleaning up, was one of the best twenty minutes in my life. Mostly because this little dude kept toddling up and down our hallway. He looked ridiculously cute and silly and we kept laughing at him. Which made him laugh. Which made us laugh. 

How could you possibly not giggle at this little bundled up ball of cuteness?

14. These things were actually kind of related. I should have titled this "16 things about Bubs." Except for the music and ipod part. 

15. For some reason I've been getting extremely stir crazy lately. I feel like I need a big change in my life. My life feels a little stagnant and a little boring. (it's really not) I actually have lots of exciting things going on. Things like callings, a toddler, and, and, uh, callings, and uh, a toddler, I suppose. Mostly I just really want to move or get a puppy! Now! I'm a "now" kinda girl...waiting is not my forte.

When I think about the past 3 1/2 years we've been married, we've had big changes occur about every year or year and a half, which means I'm due for a change. I think that change might have to be re-arranging my living room tomorrow... 

16. I have now been doo-daddling around on the computer for 2 hours. My ipod is half cleaned out, I searched for puppies, and I wrote a blog post. What a productive morning. I think I'll put on some makeup now...maybe go to Costco or something. Make myself useful in some way...

Super Powers

Random quotes I made up while cleaning my kitchen:

Sometimes my need for chocolate overrules my want to be skinny. -me


A napping baby is God's gift to moms. -me


Ah, that blissful moment when the baby falls asleep for his nap. -me


Have you ever stopped to consider different powers of things in your life? Things like, the power of smell, the power of a sincere compliment on something very important and personal to you, the power of a smile, the power of someone who will listen, or even the power of a hurtful comment, intentional or not.

Today I have been considering powers.

The power of a sincere compliment is astonishing.
The power of a smile is magical.
The power of someone who will listen is incalculable.
The power of a hurtful comment, intentional or not, is devastating.

But the power of smell is something that forever surprises me.

Now, I'm not talking dirty diaper, stinky chicken, rotting black beans, smell. I'm talking about a smell that triggers intense nostalgia. I only know of one smell that has that particularly powerful effect on me.

It's a Bath & Body Works lotion: Irresistible Apple. 

During my first year of teaching Kindergarten in my very own classroom, a bottle of this lotion somehow made it's way into my life, into my purse, and onto my desk. Since Utah is what I would consider a desert climate, this lotion proceeded to make it's way onto the backs of my hands every single morning of my job. At that time I thought nothing of it. It was just another lotion I loved the scent of and managed to get in the habit of using daily.

Now, since I have moved across the country, had a baby, and am not teaching school anymore, whenever I use Irresistible Apple, my mind and body are violently whirled back to that classroom with the wall of windows, squeaky metal desk, hum of a mini fridge, uncomfortable chair, Mac keyboard under my fingers, and the promise of children soon flooding in with "Hi, Mrs. Dotts!" (they never could say my name right) For an intense, brief moment in time, I return to the room where I was baptized by fire as a teacher and learned many life lessons I will never forget.

It's intoxicatingly nostalgic.
Thus, I presently rarely wear Irresistible Apple. 

One year ago today...

One year ago today:

This technically was a year ago yesterday, when I first entered the hospital. 

Before all the real pain started. 

28 hours later....

Definitely not my most glamorous moment, but nothing is more joyous than meeting and holding your brand new baby for the first time.

Very much in love.

My little, tiny baby...

...is not so little and tiny anymore. 

In fact he's pretty big.

And pretty cute.

And pretty dang awesome.

I feel pretty good too.

Emotionally, I'm much more stable.

Physically, I am down 45 pounds from the day I delivered a year ago.

Overall I feel so much more confident and thrilled to be a mom.

In fact, I actually love it.

A lot.

I have been having so much fun with our little boy, and I am so happy to have him in our lives!

He truly fills my life with joy. 

Now if only he would cuddle like this again...

Maybe when he gets a little older and realizes it's fun to cuddle with mom.

I can only hope.

It's amazing how a year can pass so quickly.

Last night and many times today I had moments of remembering that day (days?) in the hospital leading up to the birth of our son. It was definitely an experience I'll never forget! I'm so grateful to be a mom, and especially to be a mom of our sweet, baby boy! I love you, Bubs!

Of greetings, birthdays, weather, and a game

I wish I had some really insightful, entertaining, thought provoking, intelligent, funny, and cool blog post prepared for today.

Instead I have a brain dump.
More of a brain blank actually.
My brain feels a little numb.

Awhile ago someone gave a talk in church about some subject and as part of it he went on a tangent about greetings. By greetings I mean, when you talk to or see someone and they say "Hi, how are you?" and you say "I'm good, how are you?" Well, he went on a little tangent about how empty this greeting is in the following examples:

-It's empty for the greeter because: often times they really don't care to know how you really are, or they just ask as a mere act of cordialty. (not a word.)

-It's empty for the greetee because: a. they don't typically know if the greeter wants to know how they really are, b. it may be just a cordial gesture from the greeter, or c. they don't want to bestow their true state of being upon someone who is merely saying "hi."

Thus, all around it really should not be such a common greeting. But, for some odd reason it seems to be.

A very disappointing element of this whole exchange is when the greetee fails to take the opportunity to express his true feelings and state of being, upon being asked, when deep down he really needs someone to listen.

But the most disappointing element is when the greetee really, really needs to talk and needs someone to listen, but just offers the "I'm good, thanks," response.

I'm guilty of both of these things.
Very guilty.

It's quite tragic actually.

I'm also a bit guilty of asking an empty "how are you?" upon occasion, although I hope that anyone whom I come in contact with will know that if they need to express their true state of being in response to my question, I am always willing and available to listen and offer support!!

Perhaps from this moment on I will strive to make a more heartfelt effort of asking people how they really are instead of using it as a mere greeting.

Back to that one Sunday. While I listened to this talk, I didn't think much of it. I thought it made sense but I couldn't figure out why he was so passionate about this. I think I understand a little better these days.

Anyway, in other news, my baby is turning 1 on Saturday! Not quite sure how that happened so fast. However, it is very exciting. It's mind blowing to think about all that has happened in one year's time.

Also, it's gorgeous outside. Unusually warm for January.
Although sometimes I wish it would snow.
I haven't seen any snow this season yet, and it's a little depressing.

I kicked my hubby's butt in Mexican Train last night. And today. And maybe again tonight. we'll see.
If you don't know what Mexican Train is, we need to become better friends.

The End.