Animal crackers, chocolate milk, and being a Mom

Sometimes I give myself pep-talks in my head. This is one of them:

Babies are funny creatures.

They sleep when you want them awake and they're awake when you want them to sleep.
They throw your gourmet lasagna on the ground and chow down the string cheese.
They hate your enchilada's, fajitas, and sloppy joe's, because all they really want is animal crackers and chocolate milk.

Why does mothering have to be so complicated?

Have you noticed the interesting social media phenomenon that is occurring in regards to mothering and parenting? I only really opened my eyes and realized what's happening by way of this blog post written by a friend. As I read it, I started thinking of all the websites I've read that relate to moms raising kids, and boy are there a lot! I'm quite sure you can google any parenting question you might have and thousands of websites would pop up with the answer. I know this because I've done it. More than ten times.

I'm definitely guilty of scouring mommy blogs for advice, tips, and suggestions. I'm also guilty of writing my own posts about what I think of mothering and tips I might give to people.

I don't believe these things are inherently bad. In fact, they can be quite good! I think the problem lies where the judging and lack of self-confidence start. Most often judgement goes unseen and unheard, but may be felt by a new, frazzled, stressed out mom who reads an article written by another mom who seems to have it all together. Her world is rocked by a stranger who perhaps wrote a phrase that made her feel inadequate, incompetent, and like she's doing the wrong things for her baby. The same feelings can be triggered by dirty looks in a grocery store or mall.

"Judgment, it seems, is the plague of motherhood". -really awesome article

Ain't that the truth?

I've felt it.
I'm guilty of judging.
And I've felt great quantities of self-confidence be sucked out of me when I've read someone's opinion or advice on a certain aspect of mothering that I failed to do, or that has failed to work with my child, regardless of whether or not it's from a complete stranger, and whether or not it was meant in a harmful way (usually meant to be helpful).

How unfair is that?

When I was newly married, I thought "man, now that I'm married I don't have to worry about what people think so much." wrong.

When I was just a few weeks pregnant I thought "wow, now that I'm pregnant I can eat whatever I want and gain weight and I won't have to worry about what people think." wrong.

After I had my baby I thought "cool, I have a baby now so I'll fit in with all the other mom's of babies and I'll feel totally a part of the 'in-crowd' of moms." wrong.

Funny how I'm continually learning that my own self worth cannot be determined by what other people think. If I'm always trying to please someone else, fit in somewhere else, or impress someone else, who am I letting down the whole time? Me.

How does this apply to mothering?

For me, I need to stop caring what other people think. I need to stop thinking that because so-and-so does it with their kids, I have to do it with mine. Or because I'm not doing such-and-such, I'm less of a mom. I have to realize that every single baby is different. Every single mother is different. Every single situation is different. There is no carbon copy rule book for moms that states what is right and what is wrong for every child. (except for neglect, abuse, etc, that are commonly known as wrong and dangerous)

The best instruction manual for parenting we can ever hope for is the scriptures.
The best person we can ask for advice from is God.
The best way we can identify things that work and don't is by trying them with our child and observing their response.

So, celebrate the joys of motherhood!
Rejoice in your accomplishments!
Relish in the moments of cuddling, smiles, hugs, open-mouth kisses, and begging for cookies.
Stop caring what people think of you and how you parent.

Because you know what? This too shall pass. And way too quickly.

Besides, I don't think a meal of animal crackers and chocolate milk is going to scar my baby for life.