Super Powers

Random quotes I made up while cleaning my kitchen:

Sometimes my need for chocolate overrules my want to be skinny. -me


A napping baby is God's gift to moms. -me


Ah, that blissful moment when the baby falls asleep for his nap. -me


Have you ever stopped to consider different powers of things in your life? Things like, the power of smell, the power of a sincere compliment on something very important and personal to you, the power of a smile, the power of someone who will listen, or even the power of a hurtful comment, intentional or not.

Today I have been considering powers.

The power of a sincere compliment is astonishing.
The power of a smile is magical.
The power of someone who will listen is incalculable.
The power of a hurtful comment, intentional or not, is devastating.

But the power of smell is something that forever surprises me.

Now, I'm not talking dirty diaper, stinky chicken, rotting black beans, smell. I'm talking about a smell that triggers intense nostalgia. I only know of one smell that has that particularly powerful effect on me.

It's a Bath & Body Works lotion: Irresistible Apple. 

During my first year of teaching Kindergarten in my very own classroom, a bottle of this lotion somehow made it's way into my life, into my purse, and onto my desk. Since Utah is what I would consider a desert climate, this lotion proceeded to make it's way onto the backs of my hands every single morning of my job. At that time I thought nothing of it. It was just another lotion I loved the scent of and managed to get in the habit of using daily.

Now, since I have moved across the country, had a baby, and am not teaching school anymore, whenever I use Irresistible Apple, my mind and body are violently whirled back to that classroom with the wall of windows, squeaky metal desk, hum of a mini fridge, uncomfortable chair, Mac keyboard under my fingers, and the promise of children soon flooding in with "Hi, Mrs. Dotts!" (they never could say my name right) For an intense, brief moment in time, I return to the room where I was baptized by fire as a teacher and learned many life lessons I will never forget.

It's intoxicatingly nostalgic.
Thus, I presently rarely wear Irresistible Apple. 

To teach or not to teach. That is the question!

Somethings have been weighing on my mind heavily this morning and I thought I'd better get them out:

Teaching.

Working.

Being a working mom.

Ever since I was 14 years old I knew I wanted to teach Kindergarten. So I went to school, got my bachelor's, found a job partway through the year (in December), and started teaching my own classroom of crazy 5-6 year olds. It was the best experience of my life!

(of course besides getting married, having a baby, and all that good stuff)

When we moved out here it was the end of the summer, beginning of the school year, I was pregnant, and we were having a baby in January. So I didn't teach.

Now my baby is almost a year old, I've been staying home taking care of him, and absolutely loving it, but oftentimes my mind starts to wander back to teaching school.

I'm gonna take a second here and be a little prideful.

I think I'm a really great teacher.
I believe I was blessed with a gift to teach.
I believe I was blessed with this gift so I could touch the hearts and lives of little children in their most crucial stages of development.

prideful moment over.

My sisters were blessed with the gift of dance.
My brother was blessed with the gift of piano.
I never knew what my gift was until I started teaching.

Now I know, and oftentimes I find my heart yearning to be back in the classroom again.

But then I think about my sweet little baby and the joy he's brought to my life. My heart breaks a little to think about leaving him all day to pursue something else. Something I love.

Teaching wouldn't be about the money for me.
It never has been.
Though it would definitely help our little situation.
Especially as we are starting to see the student loans accumulate.

I don't know what to do.
I'm so incredibly torn.
I plan on doing the things I need to in order to get an answer about what I should do.
But for now, I'm interested in hearing from you!

I know lots of you, my friends, have worked part or full time with a baby, and lots of you haven't worked. What insight do you have to offer?
What advice do you have?
What things were good or bad about being a working mom?

I'd love to hear from you!

Please and thank you.
The end.

Sorry it's so dark.